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Posts Tagged ‘Stress’


“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

freedom-being you

Since the ending of my relationship with Y  just 3 weeks ago I’ve had many ups and downs, mostly ups to be honest, some doubts but none of them serious, some thoughts about my own ability to be IN a relationship at all (not just THIS particular one, ANY one), and all those thoughts and doubts have also proven themselves to be unfounded and lacking any truth. (took some deep inner work to figure this out, lots of prayer, meditation and guidance,but it was well worth the effort).

To finally understand that freedom to be completely yourself is possible WITHIN a relationship when that relationship is with the right person.

My relationship with Y was an amazing roller coaster ride, in which I soared to the highest peaks and fell sickeningly to the lowest places possible (literally-with more health issues than I’ve experienced in all the past 20 years put together)!  But I was tossed into this relationship unexpectedly and by surprise,  by God and the Universe, once again in order to learn more about myself and my being with a partner.  The school of life literally never ends, but some courses are easier and some are much more difficult to get through.

Y was a loving and caring teacher and he succeeded in teaching me more than anyone has in the past – including my parents, my friends, even my children.  I will always remember him with deep love for this role he played in my life.  But the biggest lesson, and one which has been plaguing me my whole life, was something I still had to learn on my own, and it wasn’t until the relationship was ended, that the AHA! Moment came.

Actually, my soul understood the problem almost from the beginning of the relationship 1 1/2 years ago, but I refused to listen!  (As we very often do).  And when I DID begin listening, and tried to blend with my soul’s understandings of what was “right” for me, this became the catalyst , or CAUSE of the relationship finally coming to an end.  But I did not see this until just a few days ago!  🙂

I once again realized that I had fallen back into my old habits of behavior while in a relationship.  I was still unable to be  WITH someone else and still be with myself as well.  I again found myself “loosing myself-getting lost-denying my own essence” in the process of being together with another. I found myself, for many reasons, going with the flow (the partner’s flow to be more precise) but in almost no way was this flow good for me.

And I actually thought I was enjoying the ride!!

In the first instance, a lifetime ago it seems, I had strong reasons to continue “going with the flow”…a large and growing family to take care of, long time friendship and loving times with my husband, a life style which was comfortable, pleasant and comforting, etc., etc.

Over 20 years later, ( and after many similar situations) I still found good reasons for “going with the flow” : a deep, soul wrenching, almost paralyzing love which could not be denied and was a great joy, blessing and privilege to have experienced, especially at my advanced age and after waiting so many years to find.

But it was still not a good enough reason to loose myself.

“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

It is self destructive and self-sabotaging in the end and no relationship can be healthily sustained with this type of loving.

Only when it came to a point of exploding, or “imploding” on me, did I begin the process of trying to “retrieve” myself.  But this is so unfair to the other person.  They only know you as you presented yourself to them and they have no way of knowing how much you are denying your own needs and desires in order to be with them.  And when they DO find out that you need to be someone other than they thought you were, they very well may be unable, or unwilling to make the effort needed to “go with YOUR flow”.

Leaving his own comfort zone any further to continue to be with me, was something which Y was either incapable of doing, or simply unwilling to do to stay with me.  His own words were “The car is not worth the price!!”

So, the trick is to learn to be ME always, not to loose the essence of who I am no matter how much I love another and want to be with him. Not to accommodate my needs to fit the other person’s comfort zone without having him do the same for me.  If he is not able to be with me as I truly am, or not strong enough to be with me as I truly am, then we are not meant to be together.

When the person comes along who is secure enough in his OWN being to be with me, and to be worthy of me as I truly am, we will be able to live happily ever after.  And I believe it will still happen.

I am worth the effort needed by another to go with “my” flow as well.  To leave his own comfort zone as much as I need to leave mine.

And to find together a new place which is OUR comfort zone.

I believe this is possible.

I have Faith that this will happen and the memories of the deep soul love I felt with Y will always be with me.  Knowing that such love is possible between two people was one of the great blessings of this relationship. Finding this powerful love with the right person for me, is the next part of the journey, and I know things are already in place to manifest this new joyful miracle.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Butterflies have always represented freedom to me.  I have a butterfly tattoo (not small to be truthful) on my shoulder  which many of the “normal” people in my life are not happy with, but again, it was a statement for me many years ago when I still felt the need to make such statements!  🙂

Last year, just before returning home from India, I came across this lovely creature on the road just outside my guesthouse, and once again, it shouted loud and clear..  FREEDOM.    It sat still for a very long time allowing me to admire it and photograph it, as if saying “I am here especially for you and will stay as long as you need me to”.

It was of course a reminder that freedom is something we choose for ourselves – something we can have, and deserve, no matter where we are, and no matter what our situation is in life.  It was reminding me that once I get home, I can easily choose to remain “free”, even once I return to the responsibilities and obligations of my reality when not in India.  Freedom does not mean disregarding our obligations and responsibilities…it means choosing to be true to ourselves and our own needs and finding the best way to fulfill those obligations and responsibilities to others without negating ourselves in the process.

And of course the message is always timely.

I am now just two weeks before my flight back to India and it has been a long and hectic year plus since I left last time .  Many things have found their way into my reality-many good and wonderful things – but also many stressful and energy draining things.  I have not been all that good in keeping my balance…in watching out for myself…in being true to myself…and I have paid a high price in dis-ease.   I have learned many lessons over this past year, have grown in many wonderful ways, but still needed a reminder of how important this FREEDOM is in my life.

Today, while scrolling through random posts on my India Journal blog, I came across the one describing my meeting with the butterfly above, and of course, the message was rekindled for me.

I know that I am on my way to India, albeit for a short 6 week sojourn, and I know that I must choose to make each minute joyful and stress-less.   I am grateful for this blessing and know I will return both cleansed and rejuvenated, on all levels…but that I must also remember to cherish the blessing of FREEDOM to always choose to do what is best for myself, because without it, I will fall back into the same dis-balance and dis-ease which so plagued me over this past year.

I have been given a blessed message, once again…and pray for the wisdom to follow through with the insights it has given me – both in India, and when I return home.   Even before this message, I had already made the decision to “vacation” completely while in India…see the post “To Cook or Not to Cook-That is the Question” …a decision based on a deep soul understanding of what is right for me.  I must always remember to hear what it is that my soul requires, for that is the only true source of direction and guidance for my Higher Good.  The mind tries to control, the ego to exert its power, to tell us what we “want” and the soul speaks softly and gently-telling us what it “needs”.  Listening  and understanding come in the quiet times – and these were sorely missing in my life this past year.

I find myself in a place of tranquility this past week, which I have not felt in a very long time, feeling “lighter” than I have for ages, and look forward to more of the same – based of course on my own choices – both in India and upon my return home.

The butterfly has reminded me once again that Freedom, and Freedom of Choice, are in my hands, and my hands alone.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Pray for the wisdom to embrace change with joy, gratitude and complete freedom from fear.

Butterfly Maiden Doreen Virtue Goddess Guidance Cards

Whenever we are going through difficult periods in our lives, whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually, we tend to loose our way and forget how to stay balanced and focused.  We forget how important acceptance and gratitude are…we find it difficult to experience these situations in complete acceptance, joy, gratitude and freedom from fear.  And it is precisely during these periods that these things are SO important to us if we are to move past the difficulties in the quickest, easiest and healthiest way.

Very often these periods are precursors of change

….And because change  is difficult and frightening (even if we are  unaware of it on a conscious level), we tend to resist it rather than embrace it and all its blessings.  So one of the first things we can do is pray for the wisdom to embrace change with joy, gratitude and complete freedom from fear.  Also remember that Change cannot be rushed or forced.  Things happen as they are meant to, when they are meant to, for our Higher Good.

Azure Doreen Virtue Angel Message Cards

Going through one such difficult period myself at the moment, this is precisely what I did during my meditation this morning.  I had gotten o the point of feeling desperation brought about by my inability to “fix” what was “wrong”.  The need to release – to surrender, and to accept was overwhelming by that point, but I still found it difficult to get to that place.

During the meditation, several comforting ideas came to me, and I was guided to do a card reading for myself for further clarification and wisdom.

Taking out my cards, I joyfully began my session.  During a session I usually pull three cards each from two separate decks which I enjoy using together.  Doreen Virtue’s Goddess Cards and Angel Message Cards.  While doing this, one card “jumped” out of each deck, and I knowingly put them aside to view at the end of the “regular” session.  The messages I received through these cards have given me the understanding needed to change my entire perspective of my current situation, and almost immediately I felt the feeling of complete release and surrender to God and the Universe.  LET GO AND LET GOD once again began to function properly in my life!!

The cards, including the two which jumped out, came in very special pairs, each pair bringing its own special message as to what and how.  You can take a better look at the “jumped” cards at the beginning of the post:  (They in themselves would have done the trick…I am always amazed at the way the Universe contrives to give us what we need-as long as we ask for assistance). Butterfly Maiden and Azure.  They go hand in hand and say it all.

The next two pairs I want to share with you come from the full regular reading:

Doreen Virtue Goddess Cards

This pair relates directly “feeling sorry for myself” place I found myself in and include the message of: “avoid complaining and indulging in negative thinking”, and of course, reminding me of my strength and my deserving the best in all things!  Magnificent.

The second set once again speaks of power, strength…and deals with something which I’ve also been avoiding the past several months…my abilities as a psychic and healer-mainly from a place of fear. The message includes the following words of wisdom to me:  “You are a strong and powerful lightworker, and God needs you to accept and reveal your power”.

 Doreen Virtue Angel Message Cards

All in all, very powerful messages.  IT is as if God and the Angels have reached out their hands and helped pull me out of the place I was stuck in….and then given me the tools I need to move forward once again.  I am so blessed!

We very often need assistance, and the simple act of asking/praying for it, brings to us all it is we need at the moment.   Praying for wisdom to understand the direction and guidance and the messages sent our way, is all it takes!!

I wish you all pleasant, flowing, stress free days, as well as the wisdom to release, to surrender, when necessary, and never forget to pray for assistance when the going gets rough

With much love light JOY and gratitude

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I have not posted regularly  lately and ask for your understanding.  I’ve been on a carousel ride for the  past 10 months or so, and the ride is finally slowing down enough to allow me to jump off for awhile.

LONE LEAF

I had arranged a trip to the States months ago, to visit my family, and the timing could not be more perfect.  I am leaving for 3 weeks, and have no idea if I will be posting here, or not.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO BE ALONE

I even two blogger awards which I have not even gotten around to and extend my thanks to Heart Whispers
for nominating me for the wonderful 7×7 Award and to  TheBurntMap for the Kreativ Blogger nomination.  I am truly overwhelmed by these nominations and do promise to properly accept them as soon as I get back “on track”.

I am not disappearing forever, but the need to “be away” from all the current demands of my reality is very powerful, and will respect my soul’s wishes to stop the world and get off for awhile.  I’ve learned that truly listening to these inner messages, these soul needs, is essential to my good health on all levels.  When we move away from this “listening”, we find ourselves floundering in cold, choppy waters, looking for a log to grab onto to bring us back to shore.

I have found my log and am now hanging on for dear life.

I will treat myself with compassion, love and respect.

STREET FLOWERS TO BLESS AND CALM MY DAY

I am allowing myself to enjoy this period of rest and relaxation (or recuperation) to the fullest, without feeling guilty about it in any way, and with full compassion for my soul’s needs.

Will see you all when I find the need to be back here.

with love light and JOY

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Insights, Understandings, Blessings

Happy Smiling Flower

This was originally written 5 years ago, while in India.  This April, I am Not In India, but the past six months have seen great upheaval in my life once again, and the insights and understandings are once again a blessing, no less than they were 5 years ago.   Hope you will allow me to share it here, with some slight editing.

April 2007 McLeodganj , Dharamsala, India

More than anything, I have  truly learned the meaning of living in the moment and by doing so, with complete Faith in the wisdom of God and His Universe, I have found the secret of a truly happy and easy existence. I have been working and writing and teaching about Mindfulness and living in the moment for the past 6 years, (it is now 11 years) and this has been for me a validation of everything I’ve been working on and trying to help others live as well.

Geranium

Wanting more, or different, or faster, or whatever, only leads to frustration and fears of “what if”…”why me”..etc. Truly being with each moment and living each day as fully as possible and in true gratitude for each day’s blelssings, brings us true inner peace.

There have been many unexpected things this trip,(these past 6 months) but I have found the tranquility within to accept and embrace each new thing as it comes my way, with true equanimity and grace…and I feel so at peace despite the unexpected at each turn.

I am truly blessed.

With Love Light and Joy

Jane

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“Just for today I will experience all in complete acceptance, joy,gratitude and freedom from fear”.

Lotus Pond, Sarnath, India

I have been going through a very untranquil period in my life recently, feeling unbalanced, disorientated, confused, and much of this is showing up in physical symptoms of various degrees of severity.  Finding where the inbalance comes from is the easy part.Finding the way BACK to balance is more difficult, and I’ve been “working hard” at it for some time now, and seeing no results. In place of complete Faith and acceptance in joy and gratitude, Fear and doubt have slowly crept back into my life as well, to further complicate issues – emotions and thoughts which I have managed to overcome over the past years, and this in itself is disturbing. So, as I do when I find myself “stuck”, I made the decision to move inward and allow the answers to find their way to me, and, as always happens, it works! Below you will be able to read the full message as it came to me.

Just a short note….each morning, aside from chanting the 5 Reiki Prinicples with full intent, I have added the following to my morning routine as I was guided to during a meditation last year:

“Just for today I will experience all in complete acceptance, joy, gratitude and freedom from fear”

This is an extremely powerful sentence, for it requires us to be living in complete FAITH in God and the Universe, to accept all things, and to be joyful with all that comes our way. And of course, to be grateful for all these blessings. While repeating this today, I did so with full and focused intention – something I haven’t been doing lately.

When things are not going as we imagined they would, it takes full attention to and intention to these words to help us get things back into proportion and perspective, and to understand that our need to know when, and why and how simply makes our lives much more difficult.  THese are all things which should be entrusted to God and the Universe, as discussed in previous posts.  “You can have either Fear or Faith, not both”. Mutant Messages Down Under-Marlo Morgan

So when the following message came to me during my morning meditation, I once again felt the release of fear and doubt, and with this return to balanced thinking, to Faith and Acceptance, to joy and gratitude, am certain that all other things will find balance once again in my life as well.

Message from My Morning Meditation

My life is a twisted turning road and I never know what awaits me around the next bend.  But I travel this road in complete Freedom from Fear for I know without a doubt, with complete Faith in God and His loving Universe, that another wonderful exciting and beautiful surprise is waiting for me once I get around the curve.

It may be a sharp and unexpected turn and I will have to navigate it carefully and slowly,  but once I get past it, a whole new and wonderful vista appears before me once again.

I am truly blessed to have found this road of liberation and joy and love.  God is the engineer and Master builder and administrator of this road, and He has graciously given me, and everyone, free access to it. We just have to be willing to take the first step into the unknown with  Freedom from Fear, and complete acceptance and Faith in what lies ahead.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Ram Jhula Sunset - Rishikesh

Know What is Good for You….and…….with no excuses, do it often!

This sounds easy to say, but how many of us truly know what is good for us?  If we have figured it out, after years of trial and error, how many times in life do we find excuses not to do this THING because we get sidetracked, are too busy, too tired, to involved with other things, etc.

I recently suffered the consequences of “not doing my thing” over a very long period of time, when I found myself with an immune system which had completely crashed.  Getting things back into balance, is alot more work than keeping  them that way in the first place!

My “thing” is what I like to call my “morning stuff” (which I will explain further on), but it is something which I have personally found to bring me the balance I need in my daily life to remain healthy on all levels.

Like someone going to the gym daily and then stopping completely-withdrawal is both physical mental and emotional… sometimes you may not have time or energy or the urge to do YOUR thing, but if you stop completely it will wreck havoc with all your systems. You may be able to cut back and still keep your balance…but don’t allow yourself the luxury of getting completely sidetracked by external matters and completely ignoring the THING that is so vital to your stability and good health and wellbeing. You may even have to force yourself at times to get down on the meditation pillow,or the yoga mat, or going to the gym, or the pool, or hugging a tree, or getting out in the garden, out walking, (even if the excuse is to walk the dog), down to the beach or on the bike or treadmill. Whatever your thing is, DO IT…regularly, with no excuses. And if you DO find that something has kept you away for a period of time, don’t let that hiatus become overextended. Days, perhaps weeks, but certainly not months!!

Be kind, compassionate and loving enough of yourself to make sure you DO YOUR THING! Often , joyfully and with gratitude.

For many reasons I had gotten away from my own daily routine, and this time it was not days, or even weeks, but almost 6 months – a true catastrophe for me on many levels.  I have been guided gently but powerfully back to my “thing” and in only 3 days have already begun to feel the results in more clarity, energy, alertness, creativity (hence the new blog), youthful enthusiasm, joy and laughter, peace of mind and gentleness of speech. And of course tranquility and stress free well being.

My thing:  my Morning Stuff, includes all of the following (if things are really going well), or as many of them as possible each morning before I begin my day in any other way:

Reiki self-treatment – up to 1 full hour-usually done while still half asleep so the time factor is less significant

Reiki Distance Healing to others:  up to 1/2 hour-same as above

Short Morning Prayer and recitation of Reiki Principles (ask for more details if this interests you) -5 minutes

Connection with my Guides, God and the Angels and to all beings-asking for guidance and direction for the coming day and wisdom to hear the messages sent me to guide and direct me – also “surrounding and filling myself with the light of love joy and protection” – 15 minutes (may be longer at times of need)

Drinking two glasses of warm water

Shaolin Massage (ask if you want more details on this stimulating waker-upper)-5 minutes

Chakra Balancing – 10 minutes

Pranayama (Yogic breathing exercises)  10-20 minutes

Meditation/Prayer Session – 20 minutes to 1 hour

Yoga – 1/2 hour

Warm Sesame Oil Massage

Hot Shower

If my day is going well, I will be up and beginning the rest of my day after 2 1/2 hours.  When time is short, I can manage with 1-1 1/2 hours, or I can leave the yoga for the afternoon (but that is usually not a good idea as it hardly ever “happens” once I’ve gotten involved in my daily activities)

So remember:

Be kind, compassionate and loving enough of yourself to make sure you DO YOUR THING! Often , with no excuses, joyfully and with gratitude.

with love light and JOY

Jane

 

 

 

 

 

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