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Posts Tagged ‘Self Love’


….Including Myself!

love yourself

This was posted years ago in my blog “Jane’s Mindfulness Journal” but I was guided to share it today. Based on one of the important Reiki principles ” just for today I will love and respect every living creature” ,I have added the phrase “INCLUDING MYSELF” . I believe it is worth the time it takes to read. . This was published as an article in the highly prestigious Reiki International Magazine as well.

Just for Today I Will Love and Respect Every Living Creature

thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyselfleviticus 19:18

If we look at this, as it is worded in the fourth of theReiki Principles, it appears to be fairly straightforward. It is pretty obvious to us that one of the most important things in this world is to love and respect others, show compassion and tolerance, patience and understanding etc. We also know that we must be kind to EVERY living being and this would of course include animals, insects, plants etc., etc.The original wording of theprinciple as stated by Dr.Usui is slightly different, but the message is more easily understood with the above paraphrase which I prefer using in myReiki classes and in my own daily meditation practice.And the profoundness of the principle, if we truly think about it, opens the door to an entirely new way of perceiving the ups and downs of our lives, of relating to instances where we feel we have been wronged by someone, or taken advantage of, even purposely hurt or embarrassed, or injured in any way. Of relating to the different people who come into our lives and the way we accept and embrace all that is sent our way by God and the Universe.

In addition, if we add just two small words to the above principle, it changes the impact and intent even more deeply. Just for Today I will Love and Respect Every Living Creature…INCLUDING MYSELF!! If we do not truly love ourselves, how can we possibly love and respect our neighbor??

I will try and give insights into the following two questions we must try to answer:

1. Can we truly love and respect others if we don’t do the same for ourselves
2. Can we truly be expected to love and respect EVERYone??

Before going any further into the idea of loving even those who we perceive as causing us pain or wishing us ill, let us, just for a moment, think about our relationship with ourselves.

Do you love yourself? Are you proud of yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you take yourself for granted? Do you put yourself down? Do you say unkind things about yourself ? Just for the next week, in addition to saying this principle each day with your daily prayers, meditation or whatever your regular practice is, try delving a little deeper into it. Pay attention during the day to the thoughts that you have regarding the things you do. Check the impulse to criticize yourself, or be compassionate with yourself. Note how you feel when you make a wrong decision, or get lost on the highway, or break a dish you are washing, or burn the supper, or simply forget to do something important. What feelings do you have, what words fill your head at the moment (stupid, clumsy, thoughtless, lazy). What sensations do you feel physically in your body? Where? Are you automatically hard on yourself, or, perhaps, compassionate and understanding.

Think about this for a week, and I think you will be quite surprised at what you find. Many of us cannot even say out loud “I love myself”, “I think I am great”, “I am perfect just as I am”, etc., but even those of us who CAN say these things and truly mean them, are still too often overly critical of ourselves.I would even think to perhaps state the principle in a little different way. Instead of “Just for today I will love and respect every living creature…(including myself)”…How about: “Just for today I will love and respect myself in the same way I imagine I love and respect every other living creature” . Said in that way, it might make it easier for us to realize how much more compassionate we can be with others, how much more tolerant and understanding, how much more patient and loving, than we tend to be with ourselves. 

Like a caring mother
Holding and guarding the life
Of her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Hold yourself…. And all beings
…Buddha

“We might quite readily offer such care to others, but we can learn to offer this same kind of gentle attention to ourselves. With the tenderness we might bring to stroking the cheek of a sleeping child, we can softly place a hand on our own cheek or heart. We can comfort ourselves with words of kindness and understanding. “ Radical Acceptance”, Tara Brach, PhD.

For once again, if we do not GENUINELY love and respect ourselves, our pretense at loving and respecting every living creature is just that…pretense… Self love is the first step in truly loving our fellow creatures. And when we love and respect ourselves, everything and anything that happens to us, can be dealt with in a healthy way.Only when we come to terms with our own shortcomings and learn to accept ourselves exactly as we are, to extend unconditional love to the beautiful person we are, to be compassionate with ourselves even when we are not all we expected of ourselves, to love and respect ourselves and recognize the beauty of our soul within…to feel worthy and deserving and freely offer praise and genuine respect to ourselves…only when we cherish our own being, no matter where we may find ourselves at a particular moment, or stage in our lives, only when we offer ourselves encouragement and love at each step along the way and appreciate our accomplishments-no matter how small, only when we stop taking ourselves and our own needs and wants for granted and understand that we are just as worthy and deserving as everyone else…only when we truly love and respect ourselves can we begin to truly love the next person.
LoveMyselfGraphic

Many people will say “I don’t expect anything from the next person (my children, my spouse, my co-workers, etc.) that I don’t expect from myself.” Well, perhaps we are much too hard on ourselves! Others find it easy to extend loving-kindness, compassion, patience, tolerance, understanding, forgiveness and encouragement to others, while they dole out to themselves judgment, blame, anger, belittling words, harsh accusations, lack of forgiveness, etc.

But it is only when we can find the way to love ourselves unconditionally that we can truly understand the words:

…thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself…leviticus 19:18

The idea has obviously been around for a long time and is not a new concept developed by Dr. Usui… The Great Hebrew Sage Rabbi Akiva said “This is the most important point in the Torah…the rest is just commentary”.

The idea of loving the next person as we love ourselves becomes very easy as we simply extend the same gracious and loving attention to everyone that we do to ourselves.

And that will bring us to the second part of this discussion…loving and respecting EVERY living creature:

Let us look at this idea of loving and respecting EVERYone …. This would seem almost impossible when we think of some of the strange, difficult, inconsiderate, spiteful and even abusive people who we meet in our lifetime. But there is a profound lesson in extending understanding, forgiveness (see the post re: Forgiveness ) , compassion , patience and tolerance to those who truly wish us ill. It brings us once again in contact with the idea of FAITH…faith that God is sending these people into our lives for a loving purpose…no matter how difficult that may be for us to see.

We must learn to Cherish those we dislike, even those we perceive as enemies, for they are gifts from God and we must be thankful for this blessing and pray for the wisdom to learn the lesson these people have been sent to teach us

We draw to us those who will help us learn about ourselves. Each time we are presented with a challenge dealing with another, we are really being presented with an opportunity to look inside ourselves to see what about us it is that needs working on, so that we may grow.

The idea of loving each and every person, no matter what, is quite difficult, almost impossible, but I present the idea to you for further thought and consideration, together with the following collection of quotes and insights, and perhaps your comments will lead to further discussion which will benefit us all:

Every person sent to us is a blessing meant to teach us a lesson we need to learn.
In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.
Dalai Lama
Everything that irritates us about others
Can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Carl Jung (1875-1961), Psychologist ~I have learned silence from the talkative,
tolerance from the intolerant
and kindness from the unkind.
I should not be ungrateful to those teachers.
Kahlil Gibran
What angers us in another person is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves. If we had already resolved that particular issue,we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.~ Simon Peter Fuller (from ‘Rising Out of Chaos’) ~
No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) ~
Nothing can hurt you unless you give it the power to do so.
~ A Course in Miracles ~~
The main teachers of patience are our enemies.”
Dalai Lama

and with this I wish you all much love and compassion, patience and tolerance, and freedom from fear to accept and embrace all that is sent your way by God and His Loving Universe.

with love light and JOY
Jane

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Cleansing and Mourning Process Gratefully Accepted

heal in your own time and your own way

I’ve been through a difficult frustrating week of what I now realize is a final cleansing and mourning process. Felt the flu coming on so attacked it full force with my ayurvedic herbal preparations. I felt no flu like symptoms per se except for weakness. So basically I didn’t really suffer much during the cleansing process but was frustrated in that I had to cancel all my plans for lots of dancing this week. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday! 😦 …but I am looking at it all compassionately and acceptingly and finally today I am beginning to feel better. But this could NOT happen until I hit rock bottom today, even cried, and eventually realized that if things had worked out differently, I would have been celebrating my ex’s birthday all throughout this weekend. Once I allowed myself to accept my feelings, to acknowledge and validate them, I began to feel better. No matter how sure we are that we have made the right decision, no matter how at peace we are with that decision, accepting the feelings that accompany it are all part of the cleansing and healing process. Give yourself permission to feel, to be sad, to cry, to mourn…and when your strength, energy and vitality return, you will know you are ready to healthily move on.

not getting what you want

I am missing him, and that is natural and normal, but not feeling bad about it…actually, not even sad but more acceptingly grateful that I was given the courage to be strong enough to end a relationship with someone who was not worth my loving him or worthy of my love. However difficult this is to do, the sense of relief I am feeling more than compensates for the loss I am feeling. I feel blessed to be in this place, at this moment, and know something so much better is finding its way to me. I am open and ready for it. I am truly blessed. I’ve learned valuable and important lessons from this past relationship and truly  experienced deep and powerful love for the first time. It was quite miraculous  and I am most grateful for being given this lovely and truly pleasurable learning experience. With all its difficulties, I would not have wanted to miss it for a moment.

i deserve better

I have lost something that I truly wanted in my life

But it was something that was not healthy for me and I am eternally grateful to you for giving me the strength to end it

weight and release

And now….smilingly waiting for whatever new and beautiful experience awaits me.

with much love light and JOY

Jane

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Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy! You deserve it.

Be Happy You Deserve It

True happiness is a state of BEING.  It is something you ARE.  Something you choose to BE.

 If  you’ve been blessed with something or someone who gives you joy and pleasure; enjoy it.  Love yourself enough to allow yourself to enjoy it, without any further expectations beyond the feeling of happiness you have been blessed with.

Joy is something you can experience in every moment.  It is something you deserve. It is a choice you make. .

Be happy.  Love yourself enough to allow it. You deserve it.  Being happy is not the same as being funny.  It is not necessarily making people laugh at your jokes or your antics, although it may be. (Many people believe if they play the clown, it means they are happy people, but think of the picture of the sad clown…a clown is wearing a mask to hide something else deep inside…it is not his true being).

True happiness is a flowing energy which radiates out from the depth of your soul and can be felt by anyone who comes in contact with you, even if you don’t say a word.  It can be felt in your smile, in the sparkle in your eyes.  It is a light which glows from within and it is your choice to allow it into your life.

Sometimes it may be something or someone who brings us a feeling joy.  This is lovely and should be appreciated and experienced to the fullest.  Don’t deny yourself this pleasure just because it comes from an outside source.  It is still a blessing to be grateful for and to enjoy, even though it may be momentary.

But remember that TRUE happiness comes from within.

From an inner contentment.  From living in an attitude of gratitude and being thankful for all your blessings.

 From appreciating what you have AT the moment, IN the moment.

It is not something you search for and find if you are lucky.

True happiness is a state of BEING.  It is something you ARE.  Something you choose to BE.

Many people think that once they find happiness they will be grateful for it.  It is just the opposite.

If you are grateful, you are happy.  Simple as that!

Please check out this post for further insights:  https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/the-secret-of-happiness/

Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy!

with love light and JOY

Jane

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While preparing yesterday for my Reiki workshop (which takes place today), a long forgotten photo of Abdellahji found its way , “by chance”,  into my hands while looking for some information sheets I had filed away. The photo was actually sent to me by mail and on the back is written:  ” Much love to you my dearest friend – Abdellahji”.

And then , this morning, getting ready for the arrival of participants, as I sat checking out my last minute notes on the computer, an even weirder thing happened.  I have magnetic picture frames on my refrigerator and one of my favorite photos is the last one I have of my parents together, happily looking into my eyes .  I heard a noise while my back was to the fridge and turned around to see where it came from.

THE PHOTO OF MY PARENTS HAD FALLEN OFF THE REFRIGERATOR!!.

How a magnet could come detached from a metal surface all on its own is beyond my comprehension, but I now know that these loving departed souls, Abdellahji and my parents, were just letting me know that they are with me during this workshop to give me further encouragement, guidance and direction and to let me know they always know what is going on in my life, and are proud  of me and happy for me   :-).

I am so moved by this happening to me, as well as by the fact that I understand WHAT it means, that I am currently overwhelmed with tears of joy as I sit and write.

The mysteries of the Universe are many, and if we just take the time to pay attention and be aware,  we are surrounded with love and caring and blessings at all times.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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I have not posted regularly  lately and ask for your understanding.  I’ve been on a carousel ride for the  past 10 months or so, and the ride is finally slowing down enough to allow me to jump off for awhile.

LONE LEAF

I had arranged a trip to the States months ago, to visit my family, and the timing could not be more perfect.  I am leaving for 3 weeks, and have no idea if I will be posting here, or not.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO BE ALONE

I even two blogger awards which I have not even gotten around to and extend my thanks to Heart Whispers
for nominating me for the wonderful 7×7 Award and to  TheBurntMap for the Kreativ Blogger nomination.  I am truly overwhelmed by these nominations and do promise to properly accept them as soon as I get back “on track”.

I am not disappearing forever, but the need to “be away” from all the current demands of my reality is very powerful, and will respect my soul’s wishes to stop the world and get off for awhile.  I’ve learned that truly listening to these inner messages, these soul needs, is essential to my good health on all levels.  When we move away from this “listening”, we find ourselves floundering in cold, choppy waters, looking for a log to grab onto to bring us back to shore.

I have found my log and am now hanging on for dear life.

I will treat myself with compassion, love and respect.

STREET FLOWERS TO BLESS AND CALM MY DAY

I am allowing myself to enjoy this period of rest and relaxation (or recuperation) to the fullest, without feeling guilty about it in any way, and with full compassion for my soul’s needs.

Will see you all when I find the need to be back here.

with love light and JOY

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Personal Needs – Focusing Within – Survival

My own needs are no less important than anyone else’s, my own feelings no less valid than  another’s.  I do not love others less when I choose to  make self care my first priority when necessary.  I do not diminish my to service to others or my nurturing them,  I do not belittle my commitment to them, when I love, serve and nurture myself first, when necessary.

Focusing within is not a selfish act but one of self love, self compassion, self respect, self preservation.

It is  an act of survival.

Through my own recent difficult period, this is another important message and insight I have been reminded of and blessed with.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Let Go and Let God

Beautiful Things to See Everywhere if we are Just MINDFUL of them

One of the things I have been manifesting for years now, is a brand new car (red of course!) There have been many things on my wish list, and so far, without exception, each thing has found its way into my life in strange and surprising ways, once I was able to release my own need to control the way things were happening- when and how  I felt, or imagined they should happen.  Since we do not have access to the “overview”  (for more information regarding this concept, you might like to check out the Kryon website and channelings, or read the books), there is no way that we can ever imagine, with our human limitations, the truly amazing things the Universe holds in store for us.  By trying to determine the “hows” however, we limit the Universe.  I have learned over the years to form a crystal clear intention of what I desire, hold it in my mind, feel its emotional reality and behave as if I already have it.  Once I have done this, I completely release everything else to God and the Universe and have o that all will happen exactly when and how it is meant to for my Higher Good.  Let Go and Let God

Free Food for the Pigeons

Once this became my modus operandi, things began finding their way to me, much to my continued amazement.  After years of  “doing everything the right way” to find a life partner for example, and always winding up with the wrong person, I realized that my trying to decide what I needed, what was best for me, was simply illogical and counter productive.  Once I got to the place in my life where I truly loved and respected and valued myself for who and what I am, I simply asked that whatever, and whoever was best for me, be allowed to find his way to me…and worked on this from a deep soul level. It has now been 9 fabulous months since this wonderful man was sent my way.  We met under very unusual circumstances, in a place I would never consider meeting someone, and he looks and acts (outwardly) nothing like I would have ever imagined myself to want.  But when we were brought together, we both knew that “something was happening”, and it is clearly a match made in heaven, and one that could never have happened by “doing all the right things” and taking charge of my life. We both agree that we are living a miracle and are grateful for it each and every day.

Free Food

The second thing which seemed as if it would never happen (simply because I did not have enough money), was my getting my own brand new, red car.  Well, applying the same intention and release system, things have once again proven themselves to truly work.   A large sum of money came into my possession in a totally ridiculous and unimaginable way, and I was truly flabbergasted by this.  I began to think about it, meditated on it, and realized this was God’s answer to my focused intention on a car.

So today, I went into town to find out about financing the rest of the car in the best possible way.  On the way, an Angel Feather was waiting for me…but not the usual kind.  Mostly I get the tiny fluffy ones or large ones which are shiny and beautiful.  This one looked as if it had been trampled and it had grease on it, and I almost went past it.  But if it was directly in my path, it HAD to be a message for me.

Angel Feather

Once I picked it up and felt its energy, I knew it was confirming my decision to buy a new car, but also telling me that things might not run as smoothly as I imagined but that I had made the right decision and all things would work out in the end.

And that is precisely what happened the rest of this day.  I won’t bore you with details, but I will be getting my new car, it will be what I have been dreaming of, but it will not be quite a simple as it seemed a few days ago.  But just knowing the Angels are supporting me will get me through the difficult places and keep me from giving up on the idea if it seems to ambitious.

While out and about, checking out the banks, I was, as usual, walking mindfully and enjoying the lovely spring weather -particularly the sunshine after so much cold and rain of late.

While waiting for my bus,  I came across this group of pigeons also enjoying not only the spring weather, but a free meal.  Lazily moving around and relaxingly enjoying the free bread put out for them,

Pigeons Enjoying a Spring Day

when all of a sudden a crow came along (see if you can spot it in the photo) and disturbed the peace of the morning…you can see the pigeons beginning to take flight.

A Crow Disturbs the Peace

In short, a day which could have been just a dull and boring one, bussing into town, sitting in a bank to get information and then coming home with more things to worry about, turned out to be a beautiful Spring outing with interesting events to see along the way.

I am so truly blessed and am grateful each and every moment for all the wonder and joy God  the Universe, and the wonderful Angels who assist at all times,  bring into my life.

with love light and JOY

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