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Posts Tagged ‘Manifesting’


“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

freedom-being you

Since the ending of my relationship with Y  just 3 weeks ago I’ve had many ups and downs, mostly ups to be honest, some doubts but none of them serious, some thoughts about my own ability to be IN a relationship at all (not just THIS particular one, ANY one), and all those thoughts and doubts have also proven themselves to be unfounded and lacking any truth. (took some deep inner work to figure this out, lots of prayer, meditation and guidance,but it was well worth the effort).

To finally understand that freedom to be completely yourself is possible WITHIN a relationship when that relationship is with the right person.

My relationship with Y was an amazing roller coaster ride, in which I soared to the highest peaks and fell sickeningly to the lowest places possible (literally-with more health issues than I’ve experienced in all the past 20 years put together)!  But I was tossed into this relationship unexpectedly and by surprise,  by God and the Universe, once again in order to learn more about myself and my being with a partner.  The school of life literally never ends, but some courses are easier and some are much more difficult to get through.

Y was a loving and caring teacher and he succeeded in teaching me more than anyone has in the past – including my parents, my friends, even my children.  I will always remember him with deep love for this role he played in my life.  But the biggest lesson, and one which has been plaguing me my whole life, was something I still had to learn on my own, and it wasn’t until the relationship was ended, that the AHA! Moment came.

Actually, my soul understood the problem almost from the beginning of the relationship 1 1/2 years ago, but I refused to listen!  (As we very often do).  And when I DID begin listening, and tried to blend with my soul’s understandings of what was “right” for me, this became the catalyst , or CAUSE of the relationship finally coming to an end.  But I did not see this until just a few days ago!  🙂

I once again realized that I had fallen back into my old habits of behavior while in a relationship.  I was still unable to be  WITH someone else and still be with myself as well.  I again found myself “loosing myself-getting lost-denying my own essence” in the process of being together with another. I found myself, for many reasons, going with the flow (the partner’s flow to be more precise) but in almost no way was this flow good for me.

And I actually thought I was enjoying the ride!!

In the first instance, a lifetime ago it seems, I had strong reasons to continue “going with the flow”…a large and growing family to take care of, long time friendship and loving times with my husband, a life style which was comfortable, pleasant and comforting, etc., etc.

Over 20 years later, ( and after many similar situations) I still found good reasons for “going with the flow” : a deep, soul wrenching, almost paralyzing love which could not be denied and was a great joy, blessing and privilege to have experienced, especially at my advanced age and after waiting so many years to find.

But it was still not a good enough reason to loose myself.

“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

It is self destructive and self-sabotaging in the end and no relationship can be healthily sustained with this type of loving.

Only when it came to a point of exploding, or “imploding” on me, did I begin the process of trying to “retrieve” myself.  But this is so unfair to the other person.  They only know you as you presented yourself to them and they have no way of knowing how much you are denying your own needs and desires in order to be with them.  And when they DO find out that you need to be someone other than they thought you were, they very well may be unable, or unwilling to make the effort needed to “go with YOUR flow”.

Leaving his own comfort zone any further to continue to be with me, was something which Y was either incapable of doing, or simply unwilling to do to stay with me.  His own words were “The car is not worth the price!!”

So, the trick is to learn to be ME always, not to loose the essence of who I am no matter how much I love another and want to be with him. Not to accommodate my needs to fit the other person’s comfort zone without having him do the same for me.  If he is not able to be with me as I truly am, or not strong enough to be with me as I truly am, then we are not meant to be together.

When the person comes along who is secure enough in his OWN being to be with me, and to be worthy of me as I truly am, we will be able to live happily ever after.  And I believe it will still happen.

I am worth the effort needed by another to go with “my” flow as well.  To leave his own comfort zone as much as I need to leave mine.

And to find together a new place which is OUR comfort zone.

I believe this is possible.

I have Faith that this will happen and the memories of the deep soul love I felt with Y will always be with me.  Knowing that such love is possible between two people was one of the great blessings of this relationship. Finding this powerful love with the right person for me, is the next part of the journey, and I know things are already in place to manifest this new joyful miracle.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Ganga View from Laxman Jhula Ghats

Ganga View from Laxman Jhula Ghats

As you have already seen in the previous post which was reblogged from Cauldrons and Cupcakes, I have begun a 30 day Gratitude Challenge.  Please understand, that I practice living in an attitude of gratitude each and every moment, and give thanks, in detail each night before I go to sleep for all the blessings of the previous day.  I’ve written before about the importance of Gratitude in manifesting a new reality, etc., and you can see many of these posts if you check out the “gratitude” links in the tag cloud.  One for example would be this one:

https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/leveraging-the-universe-manifesting-reality/  but there are many others.

Joining this new challenge with many other people however, increases the energies sent out to the Universe and helps to focus even more on the blessings and miracles we are given each and every day.  Hope you will join us all.. (see previous post for more details)

However, as you might have noticed, this blog has been in “retreat mode” for awhile now.  The reason being that I find myself more and more listless – some of this due to the really difficult summer weather, but much of it having to do with my not being in India for so long.  In past years, I was never out of India for more than 6-8 months at a time…but for many technical reasons, I was unable to go last year and it has now been a year and 4 months (and there are still over 2 months to go!!) that I have been away.  It has taken its toll on many levels, including my physical health.  The Ayurvedic Panchakarma treatments I do each year have been keeping my arthritis at bay for 5 years now. A few months ago, the condition reawakened with a vengeance.  I still have a few months to wait before beginning my treatments again, and pain as a constant is quite debilitating to say the least.

But more than that, is my Spirit, my Soul, feeling deep longings for all that India brings to me.  It is not something I can describe in words, but it is no different than deep longings for a special love who is far away.  Life continues as usual, but a certain zest and enthusiasm is missing as I move through my days.  Almost like being in a robotic state.

One of things I do is treat myself as often as possible (actually, almost every day) to India style cooking.  Just an example from this week:  Subji (Indian style cooked vegetables), garlic/ginger rice with turmeric, and sprouted mung beans.

Subji, garlic ginger turmeric rice sprouted mung beans

Don’t get me wrong…I am blessed with amazing joys and miracles and am grateful for all the wondrous things which are part of my life.   So many things to be thankful for, perhaps the greatest gift of the past year being my lover, friend, soulmate who I have waited 65 years in this lifetime, and several past lifetimes to meet again!

But …and here is the but…. it is still difficult for me being away for India for so long.  I have worked at getting past this for several months now, but truth be told, I have decided to accept it.  It is impossible to fight any longer, and the fight has taken too much of my energy.  So….

I am blessed and grateful for ALL the wonder and joy and magic in my life…no question whatsoever here

BUT…I MISS INDIA TERRIBLY AND THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS WILL HOPEFULLY GO BY QUICKLY

For now, I will end…but do hope you will join me and many others in the Gratitude Challenge…and also hope you will understand that it is possible to be joyful and grateful while still missing certain things along the way.  Acceptance of all things as they happen is of the essence in leading a content and tranquil existence,  and this is , of course, our own choice:  Remember the Secret of Happiness in this post: 

https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/the-secret-of-happiness/

…and make your choices each and every day to be in that place – No matter how many “buts” there may still be in your life.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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BACK to India 2012 🙂

Ram Jhula

I have once again been blessed.  A long series of synchronicities   have come together to bring me to this wonderful place where I have once again been able to reserve my tickets back to India!  I will be arriving back in Rishikesh on October 10th, and although my stay will be shorter than usual, I will still have time to do my full Panchakarma treatments and of course visit with all my wonderful friends there in Rishikesh.

Waiting for Lunch on a Cold Winters Day

LAXMAN JHULA

I probably will not have the the time I had hoped for to visit friends in other places, like Delhi and Dehradun, but perhaps they will also find their way to me in Rishikesh. I already know that a couple of good friends from other parts of the world who I have not had the pleasure of seeing in a few years, will also be in Rishikesh at the same time I will be there.  And for the first time, I am also traveling together with a friend from home.  It is her first time in India and I know it will awe and please her as it has me.

And, as always:

I leave  the “how’s” and all of the rest to God and His loving Universe to work out.

Ganga Sunset Over Ram Jhula

I experience all as it comes to me in complete acceptance, joy, gratitude and freedom from fear.

Below some further photos of just a few of my previous adventures and contented days in Rishikesh in case you feel like seeing them:

Bike Ride to Kuncha Devi Temple

My rooftop room, New Bhandari Swiss Cottage Rishikesh

Although it is still several months before I am back in this wonderful place, I am already feeling the calming energies finding their way to me.  Life is good!!!

On the way up to Neelkant Waterfall Rishikesh

Rafting Camp Along Ganga

One of Favorite Winter Suits

reflections on the ganga

I will eventually go back to posting on my India Journal Blog, but for now, I will still be with you here.

BACK TO INDIA 2012!!

with love light and JOY

Jane

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The More You Give the More You Get!

The Casino

The Casino

I have written in the past, both on this blog and on my Mindfulness Journal, about Manifesting Dreams and Creating a New Reality.  Much of what we talk about, and read about these days deals with the Laws of Attraction and attracting what we want into our lives. There are some very basic techniques about how to go about doing this. You can find innumerable posts, articles, videos, books, lectures, workshops etc. regarding this whole “business”.

But one thing which is very often overlooked, or not given enough attention, is the simple idea that “like attracts like” – meaning, if you live in a mode of want, if you worry about what you don’t have, and worry about what you do have but might not have tomorrow….if you count your pennies because you are afraid you may not have enough tomorrow, if you live “frugally” to insure your having enough “when”….then you are actually defeating the purpose. The more you live in fear of not having, the more you save for a rainy day, the more you count each penny you spend, the more you are “careful” with what you have,  the more you will attract more of the same into your life.  You will always be afraid and probably for the reason that you don’t have enough, you will never have enough for a rainy day, you will continue counting pennies because you will never have more than pennies to count, and you will never have “more”, rather you will continue to have ‘less”.

The story below is an example of how giving freely, even if you don’t have “enough”, of giving lovingly and without fear of “not having” what you need if you’ve given to someone else, of sharing what you have with a full heart, attracts even more into your life.  People who live like this, even if it seems as if they have very little, will ALWAYS have what they need, whenever they need it.  I can tell you this from personal experience as well.  Once I got out of the “fear” mode and moved into the “free” mode, once I began giving lovingly, to others and myself, whenever I felt like it or needed to, I began experiencing all kinds of unexpected surprises of money finding its way into my life, free vacations coming my way, strange “coincidences” and of course no longer having to worry that I don’t have, or will not have, enough.

I recently posted the following on my Facebook page:

On my way to the train station and in the blink of an eye my travel plans have changed. As always, God and the Universe are looking out for me, and I have been sent an Amtrak ticket by an angel named M. so that I don’t have to travel by local commuter train where I would save $60 or more but would have to change trains, (I am carrying all my luggage) ,wait for trains and spend more than 2 hours riding what is less than a 1 hour actual trip. I am truly blessed! 😀

The angel was my cousin who I was going to visit and she lovingly paid for my Amtrak ticket, round trip, and did so with joy and happiness.  Two days ago, she took me “just for fun” to a casino near her home.  I just played out the $5 I was given as an incentive by the casino, and when I finished, she took over the machine I was playing,  After a couple of minutes of play, SHE WON $1000!!!!.  And that is how it works!

The Winnings

The Winnings

Give Lovingly and Joyfully to Yourself and Others!

Be Happy About  the Money You Spend, on yourself and others!

Believe that You Are Deserving of an Abundant Life

THE MORE YOU GIVE THE MORE YOU GET!

with love light and JOY

Jane

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By surrendering to the “hows,” you begin multiplying the “wows”. Mike Dooley

Sunset Over Ram Jhula, Rishikesh, India

Just had to share this thought!  Think about it…it is quite profound.  Remember the phrase:

Let Go and Let God!!

Ganga Sunset over Ram Jhula, Rishikesh, India

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Let Go and Let God

Beautiful Things to See Everywhere if we are Just MINDFUL of them

One of the things I have been manifesting for years now, is a brand new car (red of course!) There have been many things on my wish list, and so far, without exception, each thing has found its way into my life in strange and surprising ways, once I was able to release my own need to control the way things were happening- when and how  I felt, or imagined they should happen.  Since we do not have access to the “overview”  (for more information regarding this concept, you might like to check out the Kryon website and channelings, or read the books), there is no way that we can ever imagine, with our human limitations, the truly amazing things the Universe holds in store for us.  By trying to determine the “hows” however, we limit the Universe.  I have learned over the years to form a crystal clear intention of what I desire, hold it in my mind, feel its emotional reality and behave as if I already have it.  Once I have done this, I completely release everything else to God and the Universe and have o that all will happen exactly when and how it is meant to for my Higher Good.  Let Go and Let God

Free Food for the Pigeons

Once this became my modus operandi, things began finding their way to me, much to my continued amazement.  After years of  “doing everything the right way” to find a life partner for example, and always winding up with the wrong person, I realized that my trying to decide what I needed, what was best for me, was simply illogical and counter productive.  Once I got to the place in my life where I truly loved and respected and valued myself for who and what I am, I simply asked that whatever, and whoever was best for me, be allowed to find his way to me…and worked on this from a deep soul level. It has now been 9 fabulous months since this wonderful man was sent my way.  We met under very unusual circumstances, in a place I would never consider meeting someone, and he looks and acts (outwardly) nothing like I would have ever imagined myself to want.  But when we were brought together, we both knew that “something was happening”, and it is clearly a match made in heaven, and one that could never have happened by “doing all the right things” and taking charge of my life. We both agree that we are living a miracle and are grateful for it each and every day.

Free Food

The second thing which seemed as if it would never happen (simply because I did not have enough money), was my getting my own brand new, red car.  Well, applying the same intention and release system, things have once again proven themselves to truly work.   A large sum of money came into my possession in a totally ridiculous and unimaginable way, and I was truly flabbergasted by this.  I began to think about it, meditated on it, and realized this was God’s answer to my focused intention on a car.

So today, I went into town to find out about financing the rest of the car in the best possible way.  On the way, an Angel Feather was waiting for me…but not the usual kind.  Mostly I get the tiny fluffy ones or large ones which are shiny and beautiful.  This one looked as if it had been trampled and it had grease on it, and I almost went past it.  But if it was directly in my path, it HAD to be a message for me.

Angel Feather

Once I picked it up and felt its energy, I knew it was confirming my decision to buy a new car, but also telling me that things might not run as smoothly as I imagined but that I had made the right decision and all things would work out in the end.

And that is precisely what happened the rest of this day.  I won’t bore you with details, but I will be getting my new car, it will be what I have been dreaming of, but it will not be quite a simple as it seemed a few days ago.  But just knowing the Angels are supporting me will get me through the difficult places and keep me from giving up on the idea if it seems to ambitious.

While out and about, checking out the banks, I was, as usual, walking mindfully and enjoying the lovely spring weather -particularly the sunshine after so much cold and rain of late.

While waiting for my bus,  I came across this group of pigeons also enjoying not only the spring weather, but a free meal.  Lazily moving around and relaxingly enjoying the free bread put out for them,

Pigeons Enjoying a Spring Day

when all of a sudden a crow came along (see if you can spot it in the photo) and disturbed the peace of the morning…you can see the pigeons beginning to take flight.

A Crow Disturbs the Peace

In short, a day which could have been just a dull and boring one, bussing into town, sitting in a bank to get information and then coming home with more things to worry about, turned out to be a beautiful Spring outing with interesting events to see along the way.

I am so truly blessed and am grateful each and every moment for all the wonder and joy God  the Universe, and the wonderful Angels who assist at all times,  bring into my life.

with love light and JOY

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This is going to be a short THANK  YOU note to all of you who are here.  Whether you are here just once through a random Google search,, or are a regular follower, commenter, “liker” or “lurker”, the response I’ve had to this new blog has overwhelmed me with joy and gratitude  and quite frankly, surprise.  I have been blogging for many years and have several other blogs, but none have received the attention that this one has.

And why the Thank You , you may ask?

Well, all good things in life should never be taken for granted.  We must always be aware of all the blessings that come our way, both big and small  , throughout each and every day. (basically, there ARE no small blessings-a parking space just where you need it, a short wait when you call technical support, a beautiful flower in the garden or a superb sunset -these are blessings no less important than others and worthy of our appreciation and expression of gratitude).

It is one of the best ways of bringing even more blessings into our lives, for manifesting new realities, for attracting to us all we desire and deserve.  The idea is quite simple.  If someone loves us enough to bring us gifts or do nice things for us all time, and we never say thank you or express our appreciation, if we don’t acknowledge their gifts and kindness, then eventually, even the most loving person will stop doing these things for us.  The Universe, God,  are no different.  God wants to shower us always with those things that are best for our Higher Good, and the Universe is always aware of our prayers and requests (even if it is only to say “please please make sure I have a parking space when I get there”) – and these things will be granted to us.  But they should not be TAKEN for granted, or eventually, we will be attracting less and less to us.

So, just as I appreciate all the blessings each and every day of my life, as I accept them in joy, and express my gratitude to God and the Universe,  I want you all to know that I am grateful to all of you for your being here with me, and to let you know that you all bring great joy into my life.

If there is anything you would like to hear more about from me, or points which you feel need further discussion among the different issues raised on this blog, I’d be happy to have your comments and feedback.

With Joy and Gratitude -THANK YOU!!!!

with love light and JOY

Jane

 

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