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Posts Tagged ‘Choices’


…or…How to Stay Focused while Being Mindful Along the Way

Beauty Along the Way

Beauty Along the Way

It is good to have focus in life, to have goals and desires, to make plans and do what needs to be done to move things forward.  That is the only way God and the Universe can do their part to make things happen.

But sometimes, if we focus ONLY on our goals, we miss the opportunity to appreciate the most beautiful blessings sent us daily, things which are around us everywhere, right under our nose, just waiting to be noticed.

Just to give you two examples

Today, I went to the beach with my daughter and granddaughter, to enjoy a sunny day out of doors and just relax.

Stay Focused but Be Mindful

Stay Focused but Be Mindful

When we arrived, we could not park in the usual parking lot close to the entrance, and had to walk some distance to get down to the beach.  We could have complained about this, letting it spoil the fun of going to the beach, but instead, we walked slowly and patiently along, enjoying the breeze, talking etc., and taking time to look around and SEE and BE.  And we were rewarded with the beautiful works of art you see in the photos of the flowers.

flowers along the way

Our goal was to sit in the SUN and enjoy the beach but we found ourselves facing a sky full of clouds.  That certainly would seem to spoil our day if our only chance at enjoyment and pleasure was reaching our goal of sitting in the sun.  But instead, we appreciated the fact that we were not too hot and enjoyed the wonderful sky paintings the clouds made as they changed shape, color and direction.

Cloud Paintings

Just a couple of shots to give you an example.

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

So remember, goals are wonderful things, as long as they do not take away from our being mindful of all the blessings along the way to that goal.

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

And if , upon reaching what we thought would be our destination, we find things to be different than we imagined, or planned, we must flow with the new situation and enjoy it to the fullest as well.

All things happen as they were meant to, at the time they were meant to, and in the way they were meant to, always for our Higher Good.

20140301_115641

Our job is to be grateful for all, and to experience all things with acceptance, joy, gratitude, Faith and Freedom from Fear.

with Love Light and JOY

Jane

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Cleansing and Mourning Process Gratefully Accepted

heal in your own time and your own way

I’ve been through a difficult frustrating week of what I now realize is a final cleansing and mourning process. Felt the flu coming on so attacked it full force with my ayurvedic herbal preparations. I felt no flu like symptoms per se except for weakness. So basically I didn’t really suffer much during the cleansing process but was frustrated in that I had to cancel all my plans for lots of dancing this week. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday! 😦 …but I am looking at it all compassionately and acceptingly and finally today I am beginning to feel better. But this could NOT happen until I hit rock bottom today, even cried, and eventually realized that if things had worked out differently, I would have been celebrating my ex’s birthday all throughout this weekend. Once I allowed myself to accept my feelings, to acknowledge and validate them, I began to feel better. No matter how sure we are that we have made the right decision, no matter how at peace we are with that decision, accepting the feelings that accompany it are all part of the cleansing and healing process. Give yourself permission to feel, to be sad, to cry, to mourn…and when your strength, energy and vitality return, you will know you are ready to healthily move on.

not getting what you want

I am missing him, and that is natural and normal, but not feeling bad about it…actually, not even sad but more acceptingly grateful that I was given the courage to be strong enough to end a relationship with someone who was not worth my loving him or worthy of my love. However difficult this is to do, the sense of relief I am feeling more than compensates for the loss I am feeling. I feel blessed to be in this place, at this moment, and know something so much better is finding its way to me. I am open and ready for it. I am truly blessed. I’ve learned valuable and important lessons from this past relationship and truly  experienced deep and powerful love for the first time. It was quite miraculous  and I am most grateful for being given this lovely and truly pleasurable learning experience. With all its difficulties, I would not have wanted to miss it for a moment.

i deserve better

I have lost something that I truly wanted in my life

But it was something that was not healthy for me and I am eternally grateful to you for giving me the strength to end it

weight and release

And now….smilingly waiting for whatever new and beautiful experience awaits me.

with much love light and JOY

Jane

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The End of Crippling Shoes

roseI woke up this morning with a desperate need to write…something which hasn’t happened in an extremely long time and was sadly missing in my life. I almost crippled myself (and without realizing it, crippled my creativity as well) trying to wear the shoes I loved so dearly, but in the end the pain became too unbearable to withstand and I was forced to give up on them. Now that I am basically walking barefoot the process of healing is amazingly, and surprisingly, quick and complete. There definitely are times when loving something is not enough to continue fighting to keep it in your life.
For those of you who find the above confusing, you might want to read the post below which originally appeared on my blog in May 2013…only this time there are no open sandals either…I am now completely barefoot…and that seems to be the only way to get past shoes that don’t fit..no compromise, no in between state…toss them completely.
https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/when-the-shoe-doesnt-fit/

with much love light and JOY

Jane

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Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy! You deserve it.

Be Happy You Deserve It

True happiness is a state of BEING.  It is something you ARE.  Something you choose to BE.

 If  you’ve been blessed with something or someone who gives you joy and pleasure; enjoy it.  Love yourself enough to allow yourself to enjoy it, without any further expectations beyond the feeling of happiness you have been blessed with.

Joy is something you can experience in every moment.  It is something you deserve. It is a choice you make. .

Be happy.  Love yourself enough to allow it. You deserve it.  Being happy is not the same as being funny.  It is not necessarily making people laugh at your jokes or your antics, although it may be. (Many people believe if they play the clown, it means they are happy people, but think of the picture of the sad clown…a clown is wearing a mask to hide something else deep inside…it is not his true being).

True happiness is a flowing energy which radiates out from the depth of your soul and can be felt by anyone who comes in contact with you, even if you don’t say a word.  It can be felt in your smile, in the sparkle in your eyes.  It is a light which glows from within and it is your choice to allow it into your life.

Sometimes it may be something or someone who brings us a feeling joy.  This is lovely and should be appreciated and experienced to the fullest.  Don’t deny yourself this pleasure just because it comes from an outside source.  It is still a blessing to be grateful for and to enjoy, even though it may be momentary.

But remember that TRUE happiness comes from within.

From an inner contentment.  From living in an attitude of gratitude and being thankful for all your blessings.

 From appreciating what you have AT the moment, IN the moment.

It is not something you search for and find if you are lucky.

True happiness is a state of BEING.  It is something you ARE.  Something you choose to BE.

Many people think that once they find happiness they will be grateful for it.  It is just the opposite.

If you are grateful, you are happy.  Simple as that!

Please check out this post for further insights:  https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/the-secret-of-happiness/

Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy!

with love light and JOY

Jane

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“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

freedom-being you

Since the ending of my relationship with Y  just 3 weeks ago I’ve had many ups and downs, mostly ups to be honest, some doubts but none of them serious, some thoughts about my own ability to be IN a relationship at all (not just THIS particular one, ANY one), and all those thoughts and doubts have also proven themselves to be unfounded and lacking any truth. (took some deep inner work to figure this out, lots of prayer, meditation and guidance,but it was well worth the effort).

To finally understand that freedom to be completely yourself is possible WITHIN a relationship when that relationship is with the right person.

My relationship with Y was an amazing roller coaster ride, in which I soared to the highest peaks and fell sickeningly to the lowest places possible (literally-with more health issues than I’ve experienced in all the past 20 years put together)!  But I was tossed into this relationship unexpectedly and by surprise,  by God and the Universe, once again in order to learn more about myself and my being with a partner.  The school of life literally never ends, but some courses are easier and some are much more difficult to get through.

Y was a loving and caring teacher and he succeeded in teaching me more than anyone has in the past – including my parents, my friends, even my children.  I will always remember him with deep love for this role he played in my life.  But the biggest lesson, and one which has been plaguing me my whole life, was something I still had to learn on my own, and it wasn’t until the relationship was ended, that the AHA! Moment came.

Actually, my soul understood the problem almost from the beginning of the relationship 1 1/2 years ago, but I refused to listen!  (As we very often do).  And when I DID begin listening, and tried to blend with my soul’s understandings of what was “right” for me, this became the catalyst , or CAUSE of the relationship finally coming to an end.  But I did not see this until just a few days ago!  🙂

I once again realized that I had fallen back into my old habits of behavior while in a relationship.  I was still unable to be  WITH someone else and still be with myself as well.  I again found myself “loosing myself-getting lost-denying my own essence” in the process of being together with another. I found myself, for many reasons, going with the flow (the partner’s flow to be more precise) but in almost no way was this flow good for me.

And I actually thought I was enjoying the ride!!

In the first instance, a lifetime ago it seems, I had strong reasons to continue “going with the flow”…a large and growing family to take care of, long time friendship and loving times with my husband, a life style which was comfortable, pleasant and comforting, etc., etc.

Over 20 years later, ( and after many similar situations) I still found good reasons for “going with the flow” : a deep, soul wrenching, almost paralyzing love which could not be denied and was a great joy, blessing and privilege to have experienced, especially at my advanced age and after waiting so many years to find.

But it was still not a good enough reason to loose myself.

“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

It is self destructive and self-sabotaging in the end and no relationship can be healthily sustained with this type of loving.

Only when it came to a point of exploding, or “imploding” on me, did I begin the process of trying to “retrieve” myself.  But this is so unfair to the other person.  They only know you as you presented yourself to them and they have no way of knowing how much you are denying your own needs and desires in order to be with them.  And when they DO find out that you need to be someone other than they thought you were, they very well may be unable, or unwilling to make the effort needed to “go with YOUR flow”.

Leaving his own comfort zone any further to continue to be with me, was something which Y was either incapable of doing, or simply unwilling to do to stay with me.  His own words were “The car is not worth the price!!”

So, the trick is to learn to be ME always, not to loose the essence of who I am no matter how much I love another and want to be with him. Not to accommodate my needs to fit the other person’s comfort zone without having him do the same for me.  If he is not able to be with me as I truly am, or not strong enough to be with me as I truly am, then we are not meant to be together.

When the person comes along who is secure enough in his OWN being to be with me, and to be worthy of me as I truly am, we will be able to live happily ever after.  And I believe it will still happen.

I am worth the effort needed by another to go with “my” flow as well.  To leave his own comfort zone as much as I need to leave mine.

And to find together a new place which is OUR comfort zone.

I believe this is possible.

I have Faith that this will happen and the memories of the deep soul love I felt with Y will always be with me.  Knowing that such love is possible between two people was one of the great blessings of this relationship. Finding this powerful love with the right person for me, is the next part of the journey, and I know things are already in place to manifest this new joyful miracle.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Always, but always, listen to your inner voice. It will never steer you in the wrong direction.

hard decisions

“The Soul Always Knows What to do to Heal Itself. The Challenge is to Silence the Mind”

My life has been turned up side down and inside out with the ending of a relationship. There was every logical reason in the world to continue with the relationship…it appeared to be all a relationship should and could be.  But deep down inside, for many months now, I have been hearing a small voice telling me “it is not meant to be”.  You may remember all the posts about the improbable series of “same card” events (and since the last time I wrote, which was the 5th time it had happened, it has happened TWO MORE TIMES).

Well, this was all part of the Universe doing its bit to get me to pay attention to what my soul has known for a long time, but my mind was trying to prove it “knew better”.

IT DOESN’T NOT WORK!  EVER!

We cause ourselves unnecessary suffering and grief when we choose to “not hear” or insist that what we do hear cannot be right.  We start second guessing that inner wisdom, only to find, once more, that it was right all along.

Will it be different next time?  I’d like to think it will…but we are only human beings.  And in many instances we are not top students in the school of life.

So next time will bring its own lessons, and only time will tell how easily they will be learned.

Life is good.  I am blessed to have had this relationship and blessed by all it has taught me about myself.  It has changed me for the better and I am a happier person for having been in the relationship.  We just had completely different expectations and needs from a relationship and nothing could make that great difference in perspective change.

I am deeply grateful for the wonderful man who charged surprisingly into my life, turned things around and upside down and brought me to this new place in my life, far richer than I was before he came along. He taught me things about myself, showed me things about myself, which I have never before been willing to learn or see-no matter who tried to teach me. Leaving has been one of the THE most difficult things I have ever been guided to do in my life, but I have nothing but beautiful memories to cherish forever, and hopefully, over time, we will be able to get to the place where we can be friends.

with much LOVE, Light and JOY

Jane

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Mindful Reminder

Seeing the world through the eyes of a child…or…

Never loose touch with your own inner child!

 

 

This exquisite creature was in my backyard today, but if my granddaughter had not pointed it out to me, I would have a missed it.  And what a shame that would have been.

There is so much beauty and wonder surrounding us in all places, at every moment, if we can just be mindful enough to capture those moments.  The more we are in touch with our own inner child, the more we are open to receive all these blessings we have been given so lovingly.

I do my best to always be mindful of all that is around me, with all my senses (but of course don’t always succeed)…hearing the birds or crickets, TRULY tasting the food I-not just the first delicious bite-but from beginning to end, feeling the different textures of things I touch, smelling the wonderful smell after the first rain or the salt air as I approach the sea and of course, seeing all that there is to see.  These are just examples of different ways to be mindful during each and every day.

Find your own way to put this idea  into practice and the whole world will suddenly seem so much more colorful, joyful, rich and beautiful. And of course, don’t forget to express your wonder, joy and gratitude for all these blessings as often as possible

Blessings surround us always…it is our choice to learn to appreciate them.

with love light and JOY

Jane

 

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Butterflies have always represented freedom to me.  I have a butterfly tattoo (not small to be truthful) on my shoulder  which many of the “normal” people in my life are not happy with, but again, it was a statement for me many years ago when I still felt the need to make such statements!  🙂

Last year, just before returning home from India, I came across this lovely creature on the road just outside my guesthouse, and once again, it shouted loud and clear..  FREEDOM.    It sat still for a very long time allowing me to admire it and photograph it, as if saying “I am here especially for you and will stay as long as you need me to”.

It was of course a reminder that freedom is something we choose for ourselves – something we can have, and deserve, no matter where we are, and no matter what our situation is in life.  It was reminding me that once I get home, I can easily choose to remain “free”, even once I return to the responsibilities and obligations of my reality when not in India.  Freedom does not mean disregarding our obligations and responsibilities…it means choosing to be true to ourselves and our own needs and finding the best way to fulfill those obligations and responsibilities to others without negating ourselves in the process.

And of course the message is always timely.

I am now just two weeks before my flight back to India and it has been a long and hectic year plus since I left last time .  Many things have found their way into my reality-many good and wonderful things – but also many stressful and energy draining things.  I have not been all that good in keeping my balance…in watching out for myself…in being true to myself…and I have paid a high price in dis-ease.   I have learned many lessons over this past year, have grown in many wonderful ways, but still needed a reminder of how important this FREEDOM is in my life.

Today, while scrolling through random posts on my India Journal blog, I came across the one describing my meeting with the butterfly above, and of course, the message was rekindled for me.

I know that I am on my way to India, albeit for a short 6 week sojourn, and I know that I must choose to make each minute joyful and stress-less.   I am grateful for this blessing and know I will return both cleansed and rejuvenated, on all levels…but that I must also remember to cherish the blessing of FREEDOM to always choose to do what is best for myself, because without it, I will fall back into the same dis-balance and dis-ease which so plagued me over this past year.

I have been given a blessed message, once again…and pray for the wisdom to follow through with the insights it has given me – both in India, and when I return home.   Even before this message, I had already made the decision to “vacation” completely while in India…see the post “To Cook or Not to Cook-That is the Question” …a decision based on a deep soul understanding of what is right for me.  I must always remember to hear what it is that my soul requires, for that is the only true source of direction and guidance for my Higher Good.  The mind tries to control, the ego to exert its power, to tell us what we “want” and the soul speaks softly and gently-telling us what it “needs”.  Listening  and understanding come in the quiet times – and these were sorely missing in my life this past year.

I find myself in a place of tranquility this past week, which I have not felt in a very long time, feeling “lighter” than I have for ages, and look forward to more of the same – based of course on my own choices – both in India and upon my return home.

The butterfly has reminded me once again that Freedom, and Freedom of Choice, are in my hands, and my hands alone.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Messages in the Cards

We very often pray, ask for guidance and direction and assistance from God and the Universe when we are facing difficult periods in our lives.  And then we complain that our prayers are not answered.  But …

…our prayers are always answered.

The question is, are we listening to the answers?   From the moment you pray, from the moment you request assistance, guidance, direction, everything that follows is part of the answer.  But you must pay careful attention in order to understand what you are being told, or guided to do.  So when praying, and asking for guidance, it is always good to add the following:\

..and please give me the wisdom to hear your guidance and to understand what it is telling me.

I’ve been going through a long and difficult period in my life, on many levels, and for awhile, not only had I not been listening and paying attention, I haven’t even been ASKING for assistance.  !!  And of course…if you don’t ask the question…you certainly will not receive the answer.  🙂

Ask and You Shall Receive

Which is exactly what I finally did..and the answers were given to me, as they very often are, through my lovely Goddess and Angel Cards (Doreen Virtue).

I will not go into the deeper meanings of these cards in this post, but even the simple, and beautiful messages on the cards were enough to point me back in the right direction.  To help me get back on track so to speak.  To give me a road map for the next leg of the journey.

I always use them in pairs, the first card in a pair giving me the “what” and the second in the pair giving me the “how”.

And here they are, three pairs and the loving guidance and direction sent my way from God and the Universe.

FIRST PAIR

SECOND PAIR

THIRD PAIR

Although nothing technical has changed in my current situation, my entire outlook HAS changed and knowing that I am once again responsible for my own choices and decisions, has given me a new sense of tranquility.  Remembering that the angels are always with me, if I just call upon them, a feeling of peace.  “This is  period of your life which is unscripted”…I can choose to move into any new direction I want to.  I just have to make the decision to MOVE. “You are coming into the light…you know exactly what you are doing and we in Heaven are here to back you up fully”….”Relax into the arms of Divine Love…breathe away all fears concerns and worry”.   The messages go on and on and have once again put me back into my place of harmony and focus.

I am truly blessed

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Ganga View from Laxman Jhula Ghats

Ganga View from Laxman Jhula Ghats

As you have already seen in the previous post which was reblogged from Cauldrons and Cupcakes, I have begun a 30 day Gratitude Challenge.  Please understand, that I practice living in an attitude of gratitude each and every moment, and give thanks, in detail each night before I go to sleep for all the blessings of the previous day.  I’ve written before about the importance of Gratitude in manifesting a new reality, etc., and you can see many of these posts if you check out the “gratitude” links in the tag cloud.  One for example would be this one:

https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/leveraging-the-universe-manifesting-reality/  but there are many others.

Joining this new challenge with many other people however, increases the energies sent out to the Universe and helps to focus even more on the blessings and miracles we are given each and every day.  Hope you will join us all.. (see previous post for more details)

However, as you might have noticed, this blog has been in “retreat mode” for awhile now.  The reason being that I find myself more and more listless – some of this due to the really difficult summer weather, but much of it having to do with my not being in India for so long.  In past years, I was never out of India for more than 6-8 months at a time…but for many technical reasons, I was unable to go last year and it has now been a year and 4 months (and there are still over 2 months to go!!) that I have been away.  It has taken its toll on many levels, including my physical health.  The Ayurvedic Panchakarma treatments I do each year have been keeping my arthritis at bay for 5 years now. A few months ago, the condition reawakened with a vengeance.  I still have a few months to wait before beginning my treatments again, and pain as a constant is quite debilitating to say the least.

But more than that, is my Spirit, my Soul, feeling deep longings for all that India brings to me.  It is not something I can describe in words, but it is no different than deep longings for a special love who is far away.  Life continues as usual, but a certain zest and enthusiasm is missing as I move through my days.  Almost like being in a robotic state.

One of things I do is treat myself as often as possible (actually, almost every day) to India style cooking.  Just an example from this week:  Subji (Indian style cooked vegetables), garlic/ginger rice with turmeric, and sprouted mung beans.

Subji, garlic ginger turmeric rice sprouted mung beans

Don’t get me wrong…I am blessed with amazing joys and miracles and am grateful for all the wondrous things which are part of my life.   So many things to be thankful for, perhaps the greatest gift of the past year being my lover, friend, soulmate who I have waited 65 years in this lifetime, and several past lifetimes to meet again!

But …and here is the but…. it is still difficult for me being away for India for so long.  I have worked at getting past this for several months now, but truth be told, I have decided to accept it.  It is impossible to fight any longer, and the fight has taken too much of my energy.  So….

I am blessed and grateful for ALL the wonder and joy and magic in my life…no question whatsoever here

BUT…I MISS INDIA TERRIBLY AND THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS WILL HOPEFULLY GO BY QUICKLY

For now, I will end…but do hope you will join me and many others in the Gratitude Challenge…and also hope you will understand that it is possible to be joyful and grateful while still missing certain things along the way.  Acceptance of all things as they happen is of the essence in leading a content and tranquil existence,  and this is , of course, our own choice:  Remember the Secret of Happiness in this post: 

https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/the-secret-of-happiness/

…and make your choices each and every day to be in that place – No matter how many “buts” there may still be in your life.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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