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Posts Tagged ‘Choices’


…or…How to Stay Focused while Being Mindful Along the Way

Beauty Along the Way

Beauty Along the Way

It is good to have focus in life, to have goals and desires, to make plans and do what needs to be done to move things forward.  That is the only way God and the Universe can do their part to make things happen.

But sometimes, if we focus ONLY on our goals, we miss the opportunity to appreciate the most beautiful blessings sent us daily, things which are around us everywhere, right under our nose, just waiting to be noticed.

Just to give you two examples

Today, I went to the beach with my daughter and granddaughter, to enjoy a sunny day out of doors and just relax.

Stay Focused but Be Mindful

Stay Focused but Be Mindful

When we arrived, we could not park in the usual parking lot close to the entrance, and had to walk some distance to get down to the beach.  We could have complained about this, letting it spoil the fun of going to the beach, but instead, we walked slowly and patiently along, enjoying the breeze, talking etc., and taking time to look around and SEE and BE.  And we were rewarded with the beautiful works of art you see in the photos of the flowers.

flowers along the way

Our goal was to sit in the SUN and enjoy the beach but we found ourselves facing a sky full of clouds.  That certainly would seem to spoil our day if our only chance at enjoyment and pleasure was reaching our goal of sitting in the sun.  But instead, we appreciated the fact that we were not too hot and enjoyed the wonderful sky paintings the clouds made as they changed shape, color and direction.

Cloud Paintings

Just a couple of shots to give you an example.

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

So remember, goals are wonderful things, as long as they do not take away from our being mindful of all the blessings along the way to that goal.

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

And if , upon reaching what we thought would be our destination, we find things to be different than we imagined, or planned, we must flow with the new situation and enjoy it to the fullest as well.

All things happen as they were meant to, at the time they were meant to, and in the way they were meant to, always for our Higher Good.

20140301_115641

Our job is to be grateful for all, and to experience all things with acceptance, joy, gratitude, Faith and Freedom from Fear.

with Love Light and JOY

Jane

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Cleansing and Mourning Process Gratefully Accepted

heal in your own time and your own way

I’ve been through a difficult frustrating week of what I now realize is a final cleansing and mourning process. Felt the flu coming on so attacked it full force with my ayurvedic herbal preparations. I felt no flu like symptoms per se except for weakness. So basically I didn’t really suffer much during the cleansing process but was frustrated in that I had to cancel all my plans for lots of dancing this week. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday! 😦 …but I am looking at it all compassionately and acceptingly and finally today I am beginning to feel better. But this could NOT happen until I hit rock bottom today, even cried, and eventually realized that if things had worked out differently, I would have been celebrating my ex’s birthday all throughout this weekend. Once I allowed myself to accept my feelings, to acknowledge and validate them, I began to feel better. No matter how sure we are that we have made the right decision, no matter how at peace we are with that decision, accepting the feelings that accompany it are all part of the cleansing and healing process. Give yourself permission to feel, to be sad, to cry, to mourn…and when your strength, energy and vitality return, you will know you are ready to healthily move on.

not getting what you want

I am missing him, and that is natural and normal, but not feeling bad about it…actually, not even sad but more acceptingly grateful that I was given the courage to be strong enough to end a relationship with someone who was not worth my loving him or worthy of my love. However difficult this is to do, the sense of relief I am feeling more than compensates for the loss I am feeling. I feel blessed to be in this place, at this moment, and know something so much better is finding its way to me. I am open and ready for it. I am truly blessed. I’ve learned valuable and important lessons from this past relationship and truly  experienced deep and powerful love for the first time. It was quite miraculous  and I am most grateful for being given this lovely and truly pleasurable learning experience. With all its difficulties, I would not have wanted to miss it for a moment.

i deserve better

I have lost something that I truly wanted in my life

But it was something that was not healthy for me and I am eternally grateful to you for giving me the strength to end it

weight and release

And now….smilingly waiting for whatever new and beautiful experience awaits me.

with much love light and JOY

Jane

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The End of Crippling Shoes

roseI woke up this morning with a desperate need to write…something which hasn’t happened in an extremely long time and was sadly missing in my life. I almost crippled myself (and without realizing it, crippled my creativity as well) trying to wear the shoes I loved so dearly, but in the end the pain became too unbearable to withstand and I was forced to give up on them. Now that I am basically walking barefoot the process of healing is amazingly, and surprisingly, quick and complete. There definitely are times when loving something is not enough to continue fighting to keep it in your life.
For those of you who find the above confusing, you might want to read the post below which originally appeared on my blog in May 2013…only this time there are no open sandals either…I am now completely barefoot…and that seems to be the only way to get past shoes that don’t fit..no compromise, no in between state…toss them completely.
https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/when-the-shoe-doesnt-fit/

with much love light and JOY

Jane

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Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy! You deserve it.

Be Happy You Deserve It

True happiness is a state of BEING.  It is something you ARE.  Something you choose to BE.

 If  you’ve been blessed with something or someone who gives you joy and pleasure; enjoy it.  Love yourself enough to allow yourself to enjoy it, without any further expectations beyond the feeling of happiness you have been blessed with.

Joy is something you can experience in every moment.  It is something you deserve. It is a choice you make. .

Be happy.  Love yourself enough to allow it. You deserve it.  Being happy is not the same as being funny.  It is not necessarily making people laugh at your jokes or your antics, although it may be. (Many people believe if they play the clown, it means they are happy people, but think of the picture of the sad clown…a clown is wearing a mask to hide something else deep inside…it is not his true being).

True happiness is a flowing energy which radiates out from the depth of your soul and can be felt by anyone who comes in contact with you, even if you don’t say a word.  It can be felt in your smile, in the sparkle in your eyes.  It is a light which glows from within and it is your choice to allow it into your life.

Sometimes it may be something or someone who brings us a feeling joy.  This is lovely and should be appreciated and experienced to the fullest.  Don’t deny yourself this pleasure just because it comes from an outside source.  It is still a blessing to be grateful for and to enjoy, even though it may be momentary.

But remember that TRUE happiness comes from within.

From an inner contentment.  From living in an attitude of gratitude and being thankful for all your blessings.

 From appreciating what you have AT the moment, IN the moment.

It is not something you search for and find if you are lucky.

True happiness is a state of BEING.  It is something you ARE.  Something you choose to BE.

Many people think that once they find happiness they will be grateful for it.  It is just the opposite.

If you are grateful, you are happy.  Simple as that!

Please check out this post for further insights:  https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/the-secret-of-happiness/

Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy!

with love light and JOY

Jane

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“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

freedom-being you

Since the ending of my relationship with Y  just 3 weeks ago I’ve had many ups and downs, mostly ups to be honest, some doubts but none of them serious, some thoughts about my own ability to be IN a relationship at all (not just THIS particular one, ANY one), and all those thoughts and doubts have also proven themselves to be unfounded and lacking any truth. (took some deep inner work to figure this out, lots of prayer, meditation and guidance,but it was well worth the effort).

To finally understand that freedom to be completely yourself is possible WITHIN a relationship when that relationship is with the right person.

My relationship with Y was an amazing roller coaster ride, in which I soared to the highest peaks and fell sickeningly to the lowest places possible (literally-with more health issues than I’ve experienced in all the past 20 years put together)!  But I was tossed into this relationship unexpectedly and by surprise,  by God and the Universe, once again in order to learn more about myself and my being with a partner.  The school of life literally never ends, but some courses are easier and some are much more difficult to get through.

Y was a loving and caring teacher and he succeeded in teaching me more than anyone has in the past – including my parents, my friends, even my children.  I will always remember him with deep love for this role he played in my life.  But the biggest lesson, and one which has been plaguing me my whole life, was something I still had to learn on my own, and it wasn’t until the relationship was ended, that the AHA! Moment came.

Actually, my soul understood the problem almost from the beginning of the relationship 1 1/2 years ago, but I refused to listen!  (As we very often do).  And when I DID begin listening, and tried to blend with my soul’s understandings of what was “right” for me, this became the catalyst , or CAUSE of the relationship finally coming to an end.  But I did not see this until just a few days ago!  🙂

I once again realized that I had fallen back into my old habits of behavior while in a relationship.  I was still unable to be  WITH someone else and still be with myself as well.  I again found myself “loosing myself-getting lost-denying my own essence” in the process of being together with another. I found myself, for many reasons, going with the flow (the partner’s flow to be more precise) but in almost no way was this flow good for me.

And I actually thought I was enjoying the ride!!

In the first instance, a lifetime ago it seems, I had strong reasons to continue “going with the flow”…a large and growing family to take care of, long time friendship and loving times with my husband, a life style which was comfortable, pleasant and comforting, etc., etc.

Over 20 years later, ( and after many similar situations) I still found good reasons for “going with the flow” : a deep, soul wrenching, almost paralyzing love which could not be denied and was a great joy, blessing and privilege to have experienced, especially at my advanced age and after waiting so many years to find.

But it was still not a good enough reason to loose myself.

“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

It is self destructive and self-sabotaging in the end and no relationship can be healthily sustained with this type of loving.

Only when it came to a point of exploding, or “imploding” on me, did I begin the process of trying to “retrieve” myself.  But this is so unfair to the other person.  They only know you as you presented yourself to them and they have no way of knowing how much you are denying your own needs and desires in order to be with them.  And when they DO find out that you need to be someone other than they thought you were, they very well may be unable, or unwilling to make the effort needed to “go with YOUR flow”.

Leaving his own comfort zone any further to continue to be with me, was something which Y was either incapable of doing, or simply unwilling to do to stay with me.  His own words were “The car is not worth the price!!”

So, the trick is to learn to be ME always, not to loose the essence of who I am no matter how much I love another and want to be with him. Not to accommodate my needs to fit the other person’s comfort zone without having him do the same for me.  If he is not able to be with me as I truly am, or not strong enough to be with me as I truly am, then we are not meant to be together.

When the person comes along who is secure enough in his OWN being to be with me, and to be worthy of me as I truly am, we will be able to live happily ever after.  And I believe it will still happen.

I am worth the effort needed by another to go with “my” flow as well.  To leave his own comfort zone as much as I need to leave mine.

And to find together a new place which is OUR comfort zone.

I believe this is possible.

I have Faith that this will happen and the memories of the deep soul love I felt with Y will always be with me.  Knowing that such love is possible between two people was one of the great blessings of this relationship. Finding this powerful love with the right person for me, is the next part of the journey, and I know things are already in place to manifest this new joyful miracle.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Always, but always, listen to your inner voice. It will never steer you in the wrong direction.

hard decisions

“The Soul Always Knows What to do to Heal Itself. The Challenge is to Silence the Mind”

My life has been turned up side down and inside out with the ending of a relationship. There was every logical reason in the world to continue with the relationship…it appeared to be all a relationship should and could be.  But deep down inside, for many months now, I have been hearing a small voice telling me “it is not meant to be”.  You may remember all the posts about the improbable series of “same card” events (and since the last time I wrote, which was the 5th time it had happened, it has happened TWO MORE TIMES).

Well, this was all part of the Universe doing its bit to get me to pay attention to what my soul has known for a long time, but my mind was trying to prove it “knew better”.

IT DOESN’T NOT WORK!  EVER!

We cause ourselves unnecessary suffering and grief when we choose to “not hear” or insist that what we do hear cannot be right.  We start second guessing that inner wisdom, only to find, once more, that it was right all along.

Will it be different next time?  I’d like to think it will…but we are only human beings.  And in many instances we are not top students in the school of life.

So next time will bring its own lessons, and only time will tell how easily they will be learned.

Life is good.  I am blessed to have had this relationship and blessed by all it has taught me about myself.  It has changed me for the better and I am a happier person for having been in the relationship.  We just had completely different expectations and needs from a relationship and nothing could make that great difference in perspective change.

I am deeply grateful for the wonderful man who charged surprisingly into my life, turned things around and upside down and brought me to this new place in my life, far richer than I was before he came along. He taught me things about myself, showed me things about myself, which I have never before been willing to learn or see-no matter who tried to teach me. Leaving has been one of the THE most difficult things I have ever been guided to do in my life, but I have nothing but beautiful memories to cherish forever, and hopefully, over time, we will be able to get to the place where we can be friends.

with much LOVE, Light and JOY

Jane

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Mindful Reminder

Seeing the world through the eyes of a child…or…

Never loose touch with your own inner child!

 

 

This exquisite creature was in my backyard today, but if my granddaughter had not pointed it out to me, I would have a missed it.  And what a shame that would have been.

There is so much beauty and wonder surrounding us in all places, at every moment, if we can just be mindful enough to capture those moments.  The more we are in touch with our own inner child, the more we are open to receive all these blessings we have been given so lovingly.

I do my best to always be mindful of all that is around me, with all my senses (but of course don’t always succeed)…hearing the birds or crickets, TRULY tasting the food I-not just the first delicious bite-but from beginning to end, feeling the different textures of things I touch, smelling the wonderful smell after the first rain or the salt air as I approach the sea and of course, seeing all that there is to see.  These are just examples of different ways to be mindful during each and every day.

Find your own way to put this idea  into practice and the whole world will suddenly seem so much more colorful, joyful, rich and beautiful. And of course, don’t forget to express your wonder, joy and gratitude for all these blessings as often as possible

Blessings surround us always…it is our choice to learn to appreciate them.

with love light and JOY

Jane

 

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