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Archive for the ‘Stress’ Category


“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

freedom-being you

Since the ending of my relationship with Y  just 3 weeks ago I’ve had many ups and downs, mostly ups to be honest, some doubts but none of them serious, some thoughts about my own ability to be IN a relationship at all (not just THIS particular one, ANY one), and all those thoughts and doubts have also proven themselves to be unfounded and lacking any truth. (took some deep inner work to figure this out, lots of prayer, meditation and guidance,but it was well worth the effort).

To finally understand that freedom to be completely yourself is possible WITHIN a relationship when that relationship is with the right person.

My relationship with Y was an amazing roller coaster ride, in which I soared to the highest peaks and fell sickeningly to the lowest places possible (literally-with more health issues than I’ve experienced in all the past 20 years put together)!  But I was tossed into this relationship unexpectedly and by surprise,  by God and the Universe, once again in order to learn more about myself and my being with a partner.  The school of life literally never ends, but some courses are easier and some are much more difficult to get through.

Y was a loving and caring teacher and he succeeded in teaching me more than anyone has in the past – including my parents, my friends, even my children.  I will always remember him with deep love for this role he played in my life.  But the biggest lesson, and one which has been plaguing me my whole life, was something I still had to learn on my own, and it wasn’t until the relationship was ended, that the AHA! Moment came.

Actually, my soul understood the problem almost from the beginning of the relationship 1 1/2 years ago, but I refused to listen!  (As we very often do).  And when I DID begin listening, and tried to blend with my soul’s understandings of what was “right” for me, this became the catalyst , or CAUSE of the relationship finally coming to an end.  But I did not see this until just a few days ago!  🙂

I once again realized that I had fallen back into my old habits of behavior while in a relationship.  I was still unable to be  WITH someone else and still be with myself as well.  I again found myself “loosing myself-getting lost-denying my own essence” in the process of being together with another. I found myself, for many reasons, going with the flow (the partner’s flow to be more precise) but in almost no way was this flow good for me.

And I actually thought I was enjoying the ride!!

In the first instance, a lifetime ago it seems, I had strong reasons to continue “going with the flow”…a large and growing family to take care of, long time friendship and loving times with my husband, a life style which was comfortable, pleasant and comforting, etc., etc.

Over 20 years later, ( and after many similar situations) I still found good reasons for “going with the flow” : a deep, soul wrenching, almost paralyzing love which could not be denied and was a great joy, blessing and privilege to have experienced, especially at my advanced age and after waiting so many years to find.

But it was still not a good enough reason to loose myself.

“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

It is self destructive and self-sabotaging in the end and no relationship can be healthily sustained with this type of loving.

Only when it came to a point of exploding, or “imploding” on me, did I begin the process of trying to “retrieve” myself.  But this is so unfair to the other person.  They only know you as you presented yourself to them and they have no way of knowing how much you are denying your own needs and desires in order to be with them.  And when they DO find out that you need to be someone other than they thought you were, they very well may be unable, or unwilling to make the effort needed to “go with YOUR flow”.

Leaving his own comfort zone any further to continue to be with me, was something which Y was either incapable of doing, or simply unwilling to do to stay with me.  His own words were “The car is not worth the price!!”

So, the trick is to learn to be ME always, not to loose the essence of who I am no matter how much I love another and want to be with him. Not to accommodate my needs to fit the other person’s comfort zone without having him do the same for me.  If he is not able to be with me as I truly am, or not strong enough to be with me as I truly am, then we are not meant to be together.

When the person comes along who is secure enough in his OWN being to be with me, and to be worthy of me as I truly am, we will be able to live happily ever after.  And I believe it will still happen.

I am worth the effort needed by another to go with “my” flow as well.  To leave his own comfort zone as much as I need to leave mine.

And to find together a new place which is OUR comfort zone.

I believe this is possible.

I have Faith that this will happen and the memories of the deep soul love I felt with Y will always be with me.  Knowing that such love is possible between two people was one of the great blessings of this relationship. Finding this powerful love with the right person for me, is the next part of the journey, and I know things are already in place to manifest this new joyful miracle.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Butterflies have always represented freedom to me.  I have a butterfly tattoo (not small to be truthful) on my shoulder  which many of the “normal” people in my life are not happy with, but again, it was a statement for me many years ago when I still felt the need to make such statements!  🙂

Last year, just before returning home from India, I came across this lovely creature on the road just outside my guesthouse, and once again, it shouted loud and clear..  FREEDOM.    It sat still for a very long time allowing me to admire it and photograph it, as if saying “I am here especially for you and will stay as long as you need me to”.

It was of course a reminder that freedom is something we choose for ourselves – something we can have, and deserve, no matter where we are, and no matter what our situation is in life.  It was reminding me that once I get home, I can easily choose to remain “free”, even once I return to the responsibilities and obligations of my reality when not in India.  Freedom does not mean disregarding our obligations and responsibilities…it means choosing to be true to ourselves and our own needs and finding the best way to fulfill those obligations and responsibilities to others without negating ourselves in the process.

And of course the message is always timely.

I am now just two weeks before my flight back to India and it has been a long and hectic year plus since I left last time .  Many things have found their way into my reality-many good and wonderful things – but also many stressful and energy draining things.  I have not been all that good in keeping my balance…in watching out for myself…in being true to myself…and I have paid a high price in dis-ease.   I have learned many lessons over this past year, have grown in many wonderful ways, but still needed a reminder of how important this FREEDOM is in my life.

Today, while scrolling through random posts on my India Journal blog, I came across the one describing my meeting with the butterfly above, and of course, the message was rekindled for me.

I know that I am on my way to India, albeit for a short 6 week sojourn, and I know that I must choose to make each minute joyful and stress-less.   I am grateful for this blessing and know I will return both cleansed and rejuvenated, on all levels…but that I must also remember to cherish the blessing of FREEDOM to always choose to do what is best for myself, because without it, I will fall back into the same dis-balance and dis-ease which so plagued me over this past year.

I have been given a blessed message, once again…and pray for the wisdom to follow through with the insights it has given me – both in India, and when I return home.   Even before this message, I had already made the decision to “vacation” completely while in India…see the post “To Cook or Not to Cook-That is the Question” …a decision based on a deep soul understanding of what is right for me.  I must always remember to hear what it is that my soul requires, for that is the only true source of direction and guidance for my Higher Good.  The mind tries to control, the ego to exert its power, to tell us what we “want” and the soul speaks softly and gently-telling us what it “needs”.  Listening  and understanding come in the quiet times – and these were sorely missing in my life this past year.

I find myself in a place of tranquility this past week, which I have not felt in a very long time, feeling “lighter” than I have for ages, and look forward to more of the same – based of course on my own choices – both in India and upon my return home.

The butterfly has reminded me once again that Freedom, and Freedom of Choice, are in my hands, and my hands alone.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Messages in the Cards

We very often pray, ask for guidance and direction and assistance from God and the Universe when we are facing difficult periods in our lives.  And then we complain that our prayers are not answered.  But …

…our prayers are always answered.

The question is, are we listening to the answers?   From the moment you pray, from the moment you request assistance, guidance, direction, everything that follows is part of the answer.  But you must pay careful attention in order to understand what you are being told, or guided to do.  So when praying, and asking for guidance, it is always good to add the following:\

..and please give me the wisdom to hear your guidance and to understand what it is telling me.

I’ve been going through a long and difficult period in my life, on many levels, and for awhile, not only had I not been listening and paying attention, I haven’t even been ASKING for assistance.  !!  And of course…if you don’t ask the question…you certainly will not receive the answer.  🙂

Ask and You Shall Receive

Which is exactly what I finally did..and the answers were given to me, as they very often are, through my lovely Goddess and Angel Cards (Doreen Virtue).

I will not go into the deeper meanings of these cards in this post, but even the simple, and beautiful messages on the cards were enough to point me back in the right direction.  To help me get back on track so to speak.  To give me a road map for the next leg of the journey.

I always use them in pairs, the first card in a pair giving me the “what” and the second in the pair giving me the “how”.

And here they are, three pairs and the loving guidance and direction sent my way from God and the Universe.

FIRST PAIR

SECOND PAIR

THIRD PAIR

Although nothing technical has changed in my current situation, my entire outlook HAS changed and knowing that I am once again responsible for my own choices and decisions, has given me a new sense of tranquility.  Remembering that the angels are always with me, if I just call upon them, a feeling of peace.  “This is  period of your life which is unscripted”…I can choose to move into any new direction I want to.  I just have to make the decision to MOVE. “You are coming into the light…you know exactly what you are doing and we in Heaven are here to back you up fully”….”Relax into the arms of Divine Love…breathe away all fears concerns and worry”.   The messages go on and on and have once again put me back into my place of harmony and focus.

I am truly blessed

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Pray for the wisdom to embrace change with joy, gratitude and complete freedom from fear.

Butterfly Maiden Doreen Virtue Goddess Guidance Cards

Whenever we are going through difficult periods in our lives, whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually, we tend to loose our way and forget how to stay balanced and focused.  We forget how important acceptance and gratitude are…we find it difficult to experience these situations in complete acceptance, joy, gratitude and freedom from fear.  And it is precisely during these periods that these things are SO important to us if we are to move past the difficulties in the quickest, easiest and healthiest way.

Very often these periods are precursors of change

….And because change  is difficult and frightening (even if we are  unaware of it on a conscious level), we tend to resist it rather than embrace it and all its blessings.  So one of the first things we can do is pray for the wisdom to embrace change with joy, gratitude and complete freedom from fear.  Also remember that Change cannot be rushed or forced.  Things happen as they are meant to, when they are meant to, for our Higher Good.

Azure Doreen Virtue Angel Message Cards

Going through one such difficult period myself at the moment, this is precisely what I did during my meditation this morning.  I had gotten o the point of feeling desperation brought about by my inability to “fix” what was “wrong”.  The need to release – to surrender, and to accept was overwhelming by that point, but I still found it difficult to get to that place.

During the meditation, several comforting ideas came to me, and I was guided to do a card reading for myself for further clarification and wisdom.

Taking out my cards, I joyfully began my session.  During a session I usually pull three cards each from two separate decks which I enjoy using together.  Doreen Virtue’s Goddess Cards and Angel Message Cards.  While doing this, one card “jumped” out of each deck, and I knowingly put them aside to view at the end of the “regular” session.  The messages I received through these cards have given me the understanding needed to change my entire perspective of my current situation, and almost immediately I felt the feeling of complete release and surrender to God and the Universe.  LET GO AND LET GOD once again began to function properly in my life!!

The cards, including the two which jumped out, came in very special pairs, each pair bringing its own special message as to what and how.  You can take a better look at the “jumped” cards at the beginning of the post:  (They in themselves would have done the trick…I am always amazed at the way the Universe contrives to give us what we need-as long as we ask for assistance). Butterfly Maiden and Azure.  They go hand in hand and say it all.

The next two pairs I want to share with you come from the full regular reading:

Doreen Virtue Goddess Cards

This pair relates directly “feeling sorry for myself” place I found myself in and include the message of: “avoid complaining and indulging in negative thinking”, and of course, reminding me of my strength and my deserving the best in all things!  Magnificent.

The second set once again speaks of power, strength…and deals with something which I’ve also been avoiding the past several months…my abilities as a psychic and healer-mainly from a place of fear. The message includes the following words of wisdom to me:  “You are a strong and powerful lightworker, and God needs you to accept and reveal your power”.

 Doreen Virtue Angel Message Cards

All in all, very powerful messages.  IT is as if God and the Angels have reached out their hands and helped pull me out of the place I was stuck in….and then given me the tools I need to move forward once again.  I am so blessed!

We very often need assistance, and the simple act of asking/praying for it, brings to us all it is we need at the moment.   Praying for wisdom to understand the direction and guidance and the messages sent our way, is all it takes!!

I wish you all pleasant, flowing, stress free days, as well as the wisdom to release, to surrender, when necessary, and never forget to pray for assistance when the going gets rough

With much love light JOY and gratitude

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Insights, Understandings, Blessings

Happy Smiling Flower

This was originally written 5 years ago, while in India.  This April, I am Not In India, but the past six months have seen great upheaval in my life once again, and the insights and understandings are once again a blessing, no less than they were 5 years ago.   Hope you will allow me to share it here, with some slight editing.

April 2007 McLeodganj , Dharamsala, India

More than anything, I have  truly learned the meaning of living in the moment and by doing so, with complete Faith in the wisdom of God and His Universe, I have found the secret of a truly happy and easy existence. I have been working and writing and teaching about Mindfulness and living in the moment for the past 6 years, (it is now 11 years) and this has been for me a validation of everything I’ve been working on and trying to help others live as well.

Geranium

Wanting more, or different, or faster, or whatever, only leads to frustration and fears of “what if”…”why me”..etc. Truly being with each moment and living each day as fully as possible and in true gratitude for each day’s blelssings, brings us true inner peace.

There have been many unexpected things this trip,(these past 6 months) but I have found the tranquility within to accept and embrace each new thing as it comes my way, with true equanimity and grace…and I feel so at peace despite the unexpected at each turn.

I am truly blessed.

With Love Light and Joy

Jane

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“Just for today I will experience all in complete acceptance, joy,gratitude and freedom from fear”.

Lotus Pond, Sarnath, India

I have been going through a very untranquil period in my life recently, feeling unbalanced, disorientated, confused, and much of this is showing up in physical symptoms of various degrees of severity.  Finding where the inbalance comes from is the easy part.Finding the way BACK to balance is more difficult, and I’ve been “working hard” at it for some time now, and seeing no results. In place of complete Faith and acceptance in joy and gratitude, Fear and doubt have slowly crept back into my life as well, to further complicate issues – emotions and thoughts which I have managed to overcome over the past years, and this in itself is disturbing. So, as I do when I find myself “stuck”, I made the decision to move inward and allow the answers to find their way to me, and, as always happens, it works! Below you will be able to read the full message as it came to me.

Just a short note….each morning, aside from chanting the 5 Reiki Prinicples with full intent, I have added the following to my morning routine as I was guided to during a meditation last year:

“Just for today I will experience all in complete acceptance, joy, gratitude and freedom from fear”

This is an extremely powerful sentence, for it requires us to be living in complete FAITH in God and the Universe, to accept all things, and to be joyful with all that comes our way. And of course, to be grateful for all these blessings. While repeating this today, I did so with full and focused intention – something I haven’t been doing lately.

When things are not going as we imagined they would, it takes full attention to and intention to these words to help us get things back into proportion and perspective, and to understand that our need to know when, and why and how simply makes our lives much more difficult.  THese are all things which should be entrusted to God and the Universe, as discussed in previous posts.  “You can have either Fear or Faith, not both”. Mutant Messages Down Under-Marlo Morgan

So when the following message came to me during my morning meditation, I once again felt the release of fear and doubt, and with this return to balanced thinking, to Faith and Acceptance, to joy and gratitude, am certain that all other things will find balance once again in my life as well.

Message from My Morning Meditation

My life is a twisted turning road and I never know what awaits me around the next bend.  But I travel this road in complete Freedom from Fear for I know without a doubt, with complete Faith in God and His loving Universe, that another wonderful exciting and beautiful surprise is waiting for me once I get around the curve.

It may be a sharp and unexpected turn and I will have to navigate it carefully and slowly,  but once I get past it, a whole new and wonderful vista appears before me once again.

I am truly blessed to have found this road of liberation and joy and love.  God is the engineer and Master builder and administrator of this road, and He has graciously given me, and everyone, free access to it. We just have to be willing to take the first step into the unknown with  Freedom from Fear, and complete acceptance and Faith in what lies ahead.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Living in the Shadow of the Past and the Power of Forgiveness

Like your shadow on the sidewalk when the sun shines behind you, holding onto painful past memories darkens each forward step which could instead be filled with light.

UN-Forgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die

The above statements may seem obvious, and simple, but  they are most profound and warrant further thought and attention.

Holding onto the past is probably the most universal of all human behavior patterns. It is the rare individual who lives his life entirely in the present, unburdened by influences from the past. At the same time, it is one of the main causes of worry, tension, pain, sadness, depression, anger, grief, hate, jealousy, discontent, even physical illnesses – just about everything and anything that each of us would be much better off without.

 

So, how can we rid ourselves of this terrible burden? There is only one way.

Forgiveness!

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean condoning things that happened to us or that were done to us by strangers, and even more difficult to deal with, by those close to us. It means reaching a point in life where we simply decide “Enough!”. I will no longer allow the past to rule my life and take possession of my thoughts, feelings, reactions and dictate the way I live each day. The burden of the past is heavy enough to weigh us down until we are bent over and unable to move, stuck in a place we do not wish to be in, but which we do not have the energy to move out of.

Only by dumping this terrible burden can we again feel light, joyful, fresh, young, energetic, enthusiastic, creative, loving, caring, compassionate, patient and tolerant, content, vibrant and full of peace and tranquility.

I am attaching (at the end of this post) some wonderful short statements, dealing with the power of forgiveness…and how our past effects each step we take in the present.

There are also many wonderful techniques which can help up to  forgive and then easily  release the past and move out of its shadow. I will do my best to describe the one which I find most effective. This is from both personal experience and the experiences of many of my clients who have moved on to wonderful new places in their lives after combining the technique with other subtle forms of energy work such as Reiki and Bach Flower Remedies-but it is a technique which can work entirely on its own if taken seriously and done properly and with intent.

Forgiveness Exercise:

  1. Using a full size notebook or pad (A4, letter size), take a page and fold it in half lengthwise.
  2. Number each line from 1 to 70.
  3. Choose a person you wish to begin forgiving. This can be as simple as a teacher in the first grade who made you stand in the corner or as deep as an abusive parent. It can be yourself (but this is better left until later on in the forgiveness work) or even God! You may want to begin with something small and move on to the heavier duty things once you get the hang of the exercise, but there is no reason why you cannot “jump right into deep water” if you so choose.
  4. On the left hand side of the page (remember, there is a fold line down the middle of the page), start on line one, and on each line up to 70 write: ” I (your name) completely and totally forgive (name of other person).”
  5. You will write this 70 times.
  6. While writing this short but powerful sentence, thoughts will begin to come up into your head “Why the hell am I doing this?” “This is silly” “There is NO way I will forgive this person”, “Look at what he did to me when he….” Etc., etc. Every single thought, without censorship and without comment , judgment or contemplation, you simply write down on the RIGHT side of the fold. As they come, as they flow, just write and then immediately go back to writing the other sentence 70 times. DO NOT STOP TO READ OR THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE WRITING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FOLD LINE.
  7. Once you have written this 70 times, take the piece of paper and BURN IT.
  8. Do this for a full 7 days FOR EACH PERSON. And burn at the end of each day.
  9. At the beginning of a new week, choose someone new to work on.
  10. As the days go by, the thoughts that immerge from the depths of our subconscious will become less and less. There will probably be no more left by the end of the week regarding the person involved. If there ARE still many thoughts, do the same person for a second full week! But this RARELY happens.

Once the person is taken care of and the papers are burnt, you will feel an enormous lightness overtake you. It is quite remarkable. It really does work!

If something is unclear about the above, please feel free to comment below and I will explain further. I wish you all wonderful new days filled with the relief of “dropping” the weight of the past from your shoulders, and standing tall of joyfully embrace each new day.

…and as promised:  further food for thought regarding forgiveness.

  • “Healing requires taking action–it is not a passive event.’
  •  ‘What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.’
  • ‘We have converted our wounds into a type of relationship currency that we use in order to control situations and people.’
  • ‘Healing means getting over the pain, not marketing it.’
  • ‘Therapy is a boat to cross the river, we just have to remember to get off on the other side.’
  • ‘Master your responses to external events–don’t attempt to control them.’
  • ‘Forgiveness is like a rough diet with no payback — you won’t like it until it’s over.’
  • Just let go. Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.’
  • ‘Forgiveness doesn’t look attractive until we get to the other side.’
  • Present time energy is its own transformer. The more energy you have in present time, the more voltage you can move through you.
  • ‘Call back the energy you are wasting on events of the past.’
  • We are never being punished, only being taught. Everything is a teaching.
  • ‘It goes without saying that not every healing crisis will have a ‘fairy-tale ending,’ but every effort you make, regardless of how insignificant it may seem to you, will always bring you closer to a state of spiritual and physical health.’
  • What is wrong with us that we have to have yesterday’s grief with us today?
  • Forgiveness is a path to my inner laboratory.
  • Get bored with your past, it’s over! ‘
  • Release the need to know why things happen the way they do.’ ‘
  • Never look to another person to make you happy–happiness is an internal, personal attitude and responsibility.’
  • ‘Life is essentially a learning experience. Every situation, challenge and relationship contains some message worth learning or teaching to others.’
  • ‘Practice forgiveness of others.’
  • ‘Positive energy works more effectively than negative energy in each and every situation.’ ‘
  • Our emotions reside physically in our bodies and interact with our cells and tissues.’
  • ‘Nothing empowers our ability to heal as much as our love and forgiveness.’
  • ‘The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.’
  • ‘Spiritual teachings encourage us to grow past and through painful experiences, each of which is a spiritual lesson.’
  • ‘Illness can develop as a consequence of behavioral patterns and attitudes that we do not realize are biologically toxic until they have already become so.’ ‘
  • I am forgiving not for you, but for me. I am forgiving because I want my power back.’
  • ‘Get over it.’
  • ‘Feeling victimized only adds to your illness, and should it become a full state of mind, would qualify as an illness in itself.’
  • ‘We are addicted to the power of the wound.’
  • ‘Release victim consciousness and embrace forgiveness.’
  • We can achieve a genuine sense of peace about life only by releasing our need to know why things happen in terms of human reasoning and by embracing Divine reasoning.’
  • ‘We cannot seek to heal an illness without first looking into what behavioral patterns and attitudes need to be altered in our life.’
  • For every time zone that we are in, other than here, we drain our life energy.
  • Law of the gods: get bitter or better.
  • A forgiving heart is an honest heart.
  • Blame is a form of energetic cancer.
  • If anyone tries to complicate your life – turn and walk away from them
  • If it’s not about you, it’s not about you
  • You can’t understand what you can’t understand
  • Don’t make simplicity hard
  • Your task is to learn the lesson that the teacher has for you rather than to resent the teacher
  • Seen symbolically, our life crises tell us that we need to break free of beliefs that no longer serve our personal development
  • Our lives change externally as we change internally
  • View every experience as a blessing and a remedy that serves your well-being.
  • Illness can be a teacher, companion, or challenge-but not a punishment.
  • Healing requires that you admit the truth about yourself.
  • Embrace the changes in your life.
  • Bless your difficulties and ask to see their hidden guidance.
  • Be mindful of how often you judge others.
  • Become mindful of your reasons to stay angry
  • To be unable to forgive is to live in hell, burdened, miserable, angry
  • Get in present time and forgive the people who have hurt you
  • We are not meant to stay wounded
  • To blame the other players in our drama for helping to teach us what we need to learn is the height of foolishness
  • Understand that all experiences either make you bitter or better
  • Practice the art of transformation
  • Become mindful that remaining in a conflict is a choice
  • Learn that the way to set change in motion is to bless and appreciate even the most difficult parts of our life
  • Recognize whether you love yourself enough to heal
  • Realize you choose to stay angry when you can choose to heal
  • Sometimes the strings to our past are burned because we need a new beginning

 
With much love, light, health, tranquility and JOY.
Jane

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