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Archive for the ‘Choices’ Category


…or…How to Stay Focused while Being Mindful Along the Way

Beauty Along the Way

Beauty Along the Way

It is good to have focus in life, to have goals and desires, to make plans and do what needs to be done to move things forward.  That is the only way God and the Universe can do their part to make things happen.

But sometimes, if we focus ONLY on our goals, we miss the opportunity to appreciate the most beautiful blessings sent us daily, things which are around us everywhere, right under our nose, just waiting to be noticed.

Just to give you two examples

Today, I went to the beach with my daughter and granddaughter, to enjoy a sunny day out of doors and just relax.

Stay Focused but Be Mindful

Stay Focused but Be Mindful

When we arrived, we could not park in the usual parking lot close to the entrance, and had to walk some distance to get down to the beach.  We could have complained about this, letting it spoil the fun of going to the beach, but instead, we walked slowly and patiently along, enjoying the breeze, talking etc., and taking time to look around and SEE and BE.  And we were rewarded with the beautiful works of art you see in the photos of the flowers.

flowers along the way

Our goal was to sit in the SUN and enjoy the beach but we found ourselves facing a sky full of clouds.  That certainly would seem to spoil our day if our only chance at enjoyment and pleasure was reaching our goal of sitting in the sun.  But instead, we appreciated the fact that we were not too hot and enjoyed the wonderful sky paintings the clouds made as they changed shape, color and direction.

Cloud Paintings

Just a couple of shots to give you an example.

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

So remember, goals are wonderful things, as long as they do not take away from our being mindful of all the blessings along the way to that goal.

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

Sun Trying to Break Through the Clouds

And if , upon reaching what we thought would be our destination, we find things to be different than we imagined, or planned, we must flow with the new situation and enjoy it to the fullest as well.

All things happen as they were meant to, at the time they were meant to, and in the way they were meant to, always for our Higher Good.

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Our job is to be grateful for all, and to experience all things with acceptance, joy, gratitude, Faith and Freedom from Fear.

with Love Light and JOY

Jane

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Cleansing and Mourning Process Gratefully Accepted

heal in your own time and your own way

I’ve been through a difficult frustrating week of what I now realize is a final cleansing and mourning process. Felt the flu coming on so attacked it full force with my ayurvedic herbal preparations. I felt no flu like symptoms per se except for weakness. So basically I didn’t really suffer much during the cleansing process but was frustrated in that I had to cancel all my plans for lots of dancing this week. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday! 😦 …but I am looking at it all compassionately and acceptingly and finally today I am beginning to feel better. But this could NOT happen until I hit rock bottom today, even cried, and eventually realized that if things had worked out differently, I would have been celebrating my ex’s birthday all throughout this weekend. Once I allowed myself to accept my feelings, to acknowledge and validate them, I began to feel better. No matter how sure we are that we have made the right decision, no matter how at peace we are with that decision, accepting the feelings that accompany it are all part of the cleansing and healing process. Give yourself permission to feel, to be sad, to cry, to mourn…and when your strength, energy and vitality return, you will know you are ready to healthily move on.

not getting what you want

I am missing him, and that is natural and normal, but not feeling bad about it…actually, not even sad but more acceptingly grateful that I was given the courage to be strong enough to end a relationship with someone who was not worth my loving him or worthy of my love. However difficult this is to do, the sense of relief I am feeling more than compensates for the loss I am feeling. I feel blessed to be in this place, at this moment, and know something so much better is finding its way to me. I am open and ready for it. I am truly blessed. I’ve learned valuable and important lessons from this past relationship and truly  experienced deep and powerful love for the first time. It was quite miraculous  and I am most grateful for being given this lovely and truly pleasurable learning experience. With all its difficulties, I would not have wanted to miss it for a moment.

i deserve better

I have lost something that I truly wanted in my life

But it was something that was not healthy for me and I am eternally grateful to you for giving me the strength to end it

weight and release

And now….smilingly waiting for whatever new and beautiful experience awaits me.

with much love light and JOY

Jane

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The End of Crippling Shoes

roseI woke up this morning with a desperate need to write…something which hasn’t happened in an extremely long time and was sadly missing in my life. I almost crippled myself (and without realizing it, crippled my creativity as well) trying to wear the shoes I loved so dearly, but in the end the pain became too unbearable to withstand and I was forced to give up on them. Now that I am basically walking barefoot the process of healing is amazingly, and surprisingly, quick and complete. There definitely are times when loving something is not enough to continue fighting to keep it in your life.
For those of you who find the above confusing, you might want to read the post below which originally appeared on my blog in May 2013…only this time there are no open sandals either…I am now completely barefoot…and that seems to be the only way to get past shoes that don’t fit..no compromise, no in between state…toss them completely.
https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/when-the-shoe-doesnt-fit/

with much love light and JOY

Jane

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When the Shoe Doesn’t Fit

imagesHave you ever fallen in love with a shoe you saw in a store window only to find that when you tried it on it didn’t fit?  Was so uncomfortable that it was painful to slide your foot into it.  But because you loved it so much, you bought it anyway, figuring you could “break it in” over time? That if you wore it long enough it would come to suit your foot?
My ex understood long before I did that if the shoe doesn’t fit, no matter how much you love it and want to enjoy wearing it, it will never be possible and will only bring discomfort, pain and misery each time you try to wear it again.  No matter how or what you try to do to make it more comfortable, to fit better, it doesn’t work.  You can put it back in the closet and leave it there for awhile, wear different sox with it, put Band-Aids on to cushion the sore spots, have it stretched, try walking differently, wear them only when you don’t have to stand on them, no matter how hard you try, those shoes are never going to fit.

What you need is to try a similar shoe from the same company,or a different size or width or style, and perhaps you will find something which suits you.
My ex knew I did not suit him and no matter how much he loved me, and he most certainly did, in the most beautiful and complete way  possible, that he could not stay in a relationship with me and continue to live a harmonic, tranquil and healthy life. No matter how much he wanted me in his life, by continuing to wear a shoe that did not fit would only bring pain and misery.
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I thought he didn’t love me enough and was giving up too easily.  I believed, that even though I knew for sure he did not suit me, did not fit, that BECAUSE I loved him so much, if I worked hard enough at it and didn’t give up, eventually we could be in a relationship. I thought I was being the better one in the relationship…because I was not giving up easily and fighting for what I was sure was a once in a lifetime, never to be found again blessing.    It took me a long time and a lot of bandaid wearing to realize how right he was…and that he didn’t give up because he didn’t love me enough, but because he realized the futility of trying to wear a shoe that doesn’t fit.
There will always be another beautiful shoe waiting  and this time you will know that it must fit from the beginning or you will never be able to break it in. I had to come to this realization before I could truly move beyond the pain and heartbreak. I am not sorry for all the months I tried as they were part of an important learning process for me, as well as a necessary cleansing period for me. And another important lesson for me in life has now been successfully learned and I am grateful for finally being able to understand it.
What we’ve done since then, to my great joy and surprise, is find a suitable model of the shoe which works for us.  We’ve gone back to a basic open sandal, with nothing painful confining the foot.  Pretty much just the soul  (sole) of the shoe and a light strap to keep it in place.
We’ve gone back to being partners for folkdancing, with none of the confines and complications of an unsuitable and impossible relationship to take away from the sheer joy and pleasure of dancing together…and THIS shoe fits us perfectly.

dancing 2
I will wait patiently and with an open heart for the shoe that truly fits to find its way to me.  I believe that the romantic stirrings of my heart, which my ex truly awakened in me for the first time in my life, without fear and in complete acceptance and joy (one of the greatest gifts he has given me) will now find their way out to the Universe and great love will be delivered to me at the time,and in the way,which is most suitable and “fitting”.  And that I will be open to embrace it in complete Freedom from Fear.
Life is good
with love light and JOY
Jane

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Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy! You deserve it.

Be Happy You Deserve It

True happiness is a state of BEING.  It is something you ARE.  Something you choose to BE.

 If  you’ve been blessed with something or someone who gives you joy and pleasure; enjoy it.  Love yourself enough to allow yourself to enjoy it, without any further expectations beyond the feeling of happiness you have been blessed with.

Joy is something you can experience in every moment.  It is something you deserve. It is a choice you make. .

Be happy.  Love yourself enough to allow it. You deserve it.  Being happy is not the same as being funny.  It is not necessarily making people laugh at your jokes or your antics, although it may be. (Many people believe if they play the clown, it means they are happy people, but think of the picture of the sad clown…a clown is wearing a mask to hide something else deep inside…it is not his true being).

True happiness is a flowing energy which radiates out from the depth of your soul and can be felt by anyone who comes in contact with you, even if you don’t say a word.  It can be felt in your smile, in the sparkle in your eyes.  It is a light which glows from within and it is your choice to allow it into your life.

Sometimes it may be something or someone who brings us a feeling joy.  This is lovely and should be appreciated and experienced to the fullest.  Don’t deny yourself this pleasure just because it comes from an outside source.  It is still a blessing to be grateful for and to enjoy, even though it may be momentary.

But remember that TRUE happiness comes from within.

From an inner contentment.  From living in an attitude of gratitude and being thankful for all your blessings.

 From appreciating what you have AT the moment, IN the moment.

It is not something you search for and find if you are lucky.

True happiness is a state of BEING.  It is something you ARE.  Something you choose to BE.

Many people think that once they find happiness they will be grateful for it.  It is just the opposite.

If you are grateful, you are happy.  Simple as that!

Please check out this post for further insights:  https://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/the-secret-of-happiness/

Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy!

with love light and JOY

Jane

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“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

freedom-being you

Since the ending of my relationship with Y  just 3 weeks ago I’ve had many ups and downs, mostly ups to be honest, some doubts but none of them serious, some thoughts about my own ability to be IN a relationship at all (not just THIS particular one, ANY one), and all those thoughts and doubts have also proven themselves to be unfounded and lacking any truth. (took some deep inner work to figure this out, lots of prayer, meditation and guidance,but it was well worth the effort).

To finally understand that freedom to be completely yourself is possible WITHIN a relationship when that relationship is with the right person.

My relationship with Y was an amazing roller coaster ride, in which I soared to the highest peaks and fell sickeningly to the lowest places possible (literally-with more health issues than I’ve experienced in all the past 20 years put together)!  But I was tossed into this relationship unexpectedly and by surprise,  by God and the Universe, once again in order to learn more about myself and my being with a partner.  The school of life literally never ends, but some courses are easier and some are much more difficult to get through.

Y was a loving and caring teacher and he succeeded in teaching me more than anyone has in the past – including my parents, my friends, even my children.  I will always remember him with deep love for this role he played in my life.  But the biggest lesson, and one which has been plaguing me my whole life, was something I still had to learn on my own, and it wasn’t until the relationship was ended, that the AHA! Moment came.

Actually, my soul understood the problem almost from the beginning of the relationship 1 1/2 years ago, but I refused to listen!  (As we very often do).  And when I DID begin listening, and tried to blend with my soul’s understandings of what was “right” for me, this became the catalyst , or CAUSE of the relationship finally coming to an end.  But I did not see this until just a few days ago!  🙂

I once again realized that I had fallen back into my old habits of behavior while in a relationship.  I was still unable to be  WITH someone else and still be with myself as well.  I again found myself “loosing myself-getting lost-denying my own essence” in the process of being together with another. I found myself, for many reasons, going with the flow (the partner’s flow to be more precise) but in almost no way was this flow good for me.

And I actually thought I was enjoying the ride!!

In the first instance, a lifetime ago it seems, I had strong reasons to continue “going with the flow”…a large and growing family to take care of, long time friendship and loving times with my husband, a life style which was comfortable, pleasant and comforting, etc., etc.

Over 20 years later, ( and after many similar situations) I still found good reasons for “going with the flow” : a deep, soul wrenching, almost paralyzing love which could not be denied and was a great joy, blessing and privilege to have experienced, especially at my advanced age and after waiting so many years to find.

But it was still not a good enough reason to loose myself.

“Getting lost in love” is truly not a healthy way to “be” in love-or to love someone.

It is self destructive and self-sabotaging in the end and no relationship can be healthily sustained with this type of loving.

Only when it came to a point of exploding, or “imploding” on me, did I begin the process of trying to “retrieve” myself.  But this is so unfair to the other person.  They only know you as you presented yourself to them and they have no way of knowing how much you are denying your own needs and desires in order to be with them.  And when they DO find out that you need to be someone other than they thought you were, they very well may be unable, or unwilling to make the effort needed to “go with YOUR flow”.

Leaving his own comfort zone any further to continue to be with me, was something which Y was either incapable of doing, or simply unwilling to do to stay with me.  His own words were “The car is not worth the price!!”

So, the trick is to learn to be ME always, not to loose the essence of who I am no matter how much I love another and want to be with him. Not to accommodate my needs to fit the other person’s comfort zone without having him do the same for me.  If he is not able to be with me as I truly am, or not strong enough to be with me as I truly am, then we are not meant to be together.

When the person comes along who is secure enough in his OWN being to be with me, and to be worthy of me as I truly am, we will be able to live happily ever after.  And I believe it will still happen.

I am worth the effort needed by another to go with “my” flow as well.  To leave his own comfort zone as much as I need to leave mine.

And to find together a new place which is OUR comfort zone.

I believe this is possible.

I have Faith that this will happen and the memories of the deep soul love I felt with Y will always be with me.  Knowing that such love is possible between two people was one of the great blessings of this relationship. Finding this powerful love with the right person for me, is the next part of the journey, and I know things are already in place to manifest this new joyful miracle.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Mindful Reminder

Seeing the world through the eyes of a child…or…

Never loose touch with your own inner child!

 

 

This exquisite creature was in my backyard today, but if my granddaughter had not pointed it out to me, I would have a missed it.  And what a shame that would have been.

There is so much beauty and wonder surrounding us in all places, at every moment, if we can just be mindful enough to capture those moments.  The more we are in touch with our own inner child, the more we are open to receive all these blessings we have been given so lovingly.

I do my best to always be mindful of all that is around me, with all my senses (but of course don’t always succeed)…hearing the birds or crickets, TRULY tasting the food I-not just the first delicious bite-but from beginning to end, feeling the different textures of things I touch, smelling the wonderful smell after the first rain or the salt air as I approach the sea and of course, seeing all that there is to see.  These are just examples of different ways to be mindful during each and every day.

Find your own way to put this idea  into practice and the whole world will suddenly seem so much more colorful, joyful, rich and beautiful. And of course, don’t forget to express your wonder, joy and gratitude for all these blessings as often as possible

Blessings surround us always…it is our choice to learn to appreciate them.

with love light and JOY

Jane

 

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Butterflies have always represented freedom to me.  I have a butterfly tattoo (not small to be truthful) on my shoulder  which many of the “normal” people in my life are not happy with, but again, it was a statement for me many years ago when I still felt the need to make such statements!  🙂

Last year, just before returning home from India, I came across this lovely creature on the road just outside my guesthouse, and once again, it shouted loud and clear..  FREEDOM.    It sat still for a very long time allowing me to admire it and photograph it, as if saying “I am here especially for you and will stay as long as you need me to”.

It was of course a reminder that freedom is something we choose for ourselves – something we can have, and deserve, no matter where we are, and no matter what our situation is in life.  It was reminding me that once I get home, I can easily choose to remain “free”, even once I return to the responsibilities and obligations of my reality when not in India.  Freedom does not mean disregarding our obligations and responsibilities…it means choosing to be true to ourselves and our own needs and finding the best way to fulfill those obligations and responsibilities to others without negating ourselves in the process.

And of course the message is always timely.

I am now just two weeks before my flight back to India and it has been a long and hectic year plus since I left last time .  Many things have found their way into my reality-many good and wonderful things – but also many stressful and energy draining things.  I have not been all that good in keeping my balance…in watching out for myself…in being true to myself…and I have paid a high price in dis-ease.   I have learned many lessons over this past year, have grown in many wonderful ways, but still needed a reminder of how important this FREEDOM is in my life.

Today, while scrolling through random posts on my India Journal blog, I came across the one describing my meeting with the butterfly above, and of course, the message was rekindled for me.

I know that I am on my way to India, albeit for a short 6 week sojourn, and I know that I must choose to make each minute joyful and stress-less.   I am grateful for this blessing and know I will return both cleansed and rejuvenated, on all levels…but that I must also remember to cherish the blessing of FREEDOM to always choose to do what is best for myself, because without it, I will fall back into the same dis-balance and dis-ease which so plagued me over this past year.

I have been given a blessed message, once again…and pray for the wisdom to follow through with the insights it has given me – both in India, and when I return home.   Even before this message, I had already made the decision to “vacation” completely while in India…see the post “To Cook or Not to Cook-That is the Question” …a decision based on a deep soul understanding of what is right for me.  I must always remember to hear what it is that my soul requires, for that is the only true source of direction and guidance for my Higher Good.  The mind tries to control, the ego to exert its power, to tell us what we “want” and the soul speaks softly and gently-telling us what it “needs”.  Listening  and understanding come in the quiet times – and these were sorely missing in my life this past year.

I find myself in a place of tranquility this past week, which I have not felt in a very long time, feeling “lighter” than I have for ages, and look forward to more of the same – based of course on my own choices – both in India and upon my return home.

The butterfly has reminded me once again that Freedom, and Freedom of Choice, are in my hands, and my hands alone.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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The countdown continues and all kinds of decisions to make. This was an important one for me! 🙂 Glad it’s been decided….

India 2008-2015

…and the answer is NOT TO COOK!!

This sounds very cryptic I know, but is quite simple.  Every year for the past number of years I have set up a kind of very simple kitchen system to be able to cook in my room while in India.

In a previous post I explained the reasons for taking a room and setting up a primitive sort of kitchen , rather than a full apartment with kitchen, as follows:

”  The limited kitchen as a blessing: I sometimes find myself annoyed that I don’t have a real kitchen and have to improvise to prepare my simple meals. And I am very limited in what I can cook, as I have one pot and one frying pan, [the past two years I have added a pressure cooker which is a BIG plus ]  

no counter top, no kitchen sink (I have finally…

View original post 739 more words

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Messages in the Cards

We very often pray, ask for guidance and direction and assistance from God and the Universe when we are facing difficult periods in our lives.  And then we complain that our prayers are not answered.  But …

…our prayers are always answered.

The question is, are we listening to the answers?   From the moment you pray, from the moment you request assistance, guidance, direction, everything that follows is part of the answer.  But you must pay careful attention in order to understand what you are being told, or guided to do.  So when praying, and asking for guidance, it is always good to add the following:\

..and please give me the wisdom to hear your guidance and to understand what it is telling me.

I’ve been going through a long and difficult period in my life, on many levels, and for awhile, not only had I not been listening and paying attention, I haven’t even been ASKING for assistance.  !!  And of course…if you don’t ask the question…you certainly will not receive the answer.  🙂

Ask and You Shall Receive

Which is exactly what I finally did..and the answers were given to me, as they very often are, through my lovely Goddess and Angel Cards (Doreen Virtue).

I will not go into the deeper meanings of these cards in this post, but even the simple, and beautiful messages on the cards were enough to point me back in the right direction.  To help me get back on track so to speak.  To give me a road map for the next leg of the journey.

I always use them in pairs, the first card in a pair giving me the “what” and the second in the pair giving me the “how”.

And here they are, three pairs and the loving guidance and direction sent my way from God and the Universe.

FIRST PAIR

SECOND PAIR

THIRD PAIR

Although nothing technical has changed in my current situation, my entire outlook HAS changed and knowing that I am once again responsible for my own choices and decisions, has given me a new sense of tranquility.  Remembering that the angels are always with me, if I just call upon them, a feeling of peace.  “This is  period of your life which is unscripted”…I can choose to move into any new direction I want to.  I just have to make the decision to MOVE. “You are coming into the light…you know exactly what you are doing and we in Heaven are here to back you up fully”….”Relax into the arms of Divine Love…breathe away all fears concerns and worry”.   The messages go on and on and have once again put me back into my place of harmony and focus.

I am truly blessed

with love light and JOY

Jane

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