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Archive for the ‘Anger’ Category


A Candle in the Darkness?

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We all understand the concept of lighting a candle in the darkness.

A candle will always light up a dark room just as love always wins over hate.
But what if you put the candle, the love, into a Black Hole? It will simply be swallowed up into the unending abyss-in this case, the unending abyss of hatred and evil-without lighting up anything-having no impact whatsoever.
No matter how dark a situation seems, no matter how much hate and evil there seems to be, if we light a candle of love and light, the darkness should be defeated .

But what happens if instead of regular darkness we are dealing with a Black Hole … a darkness of a whole different Nature. A Black Hole simply swallows up everything that enters it.
What if instead of the normal darkness of hate and evil we are dealing with a Black Hole of hate and evil. No matter how many candles of love and light we ignite, their light will simple be swallowed up, devoured, disappear within the Black Hole of hatred and evil.

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Quiet Skies at Last

This is the way I’ve been feeling over these past difficult weeks. That not only here in this troubled region, but it seems the world over, we are facing a form of hatred and evil that no amount of love and light can defeat. Our candles, our offerings, our desires for peace extended in love, are simply devoured by the Black Hole of hatred and evil which seems to have descended  upon the world.

I pray to God daily for the strength not to hate in return. It is difficult to say the least and quite unsettling to the soul.

May love and light once again enlighten the darkness the world finds itself lost in at this time.

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Tranquility in the Midst of Turmoil

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Living in the Shadow of the Past and the Power of Forgiveness

Like your shadow on the sidewalk when the sun shines behind you, holding onto painful past memories darkens each forward step which could instead be filled with light.

UN-Forgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die

The above statements may seem obvious, and simple, but  they are most profound and warrant further thought and attention.

Holding onto the past is probably the most universal of all human behavior patterns. It is the rare individual who lives his life entirely in the present, unburdened by influences from the past. At the same time, it is one of the main causes of worry, tension, pain, sadness, depression, anger, grief, hate, jealousy, discontent, even physical illnesses – just about everything and anything that each of us would be much better off without.

 

So, how can we rid ourselves of this terrible burden? There is only one way.

Forgiveness!

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean condoning things that happened to us or that were done to us by strangers, and even more difficult to deal with, by those close to us. It means reaching a point in life where we simply decide “Enough!”. I will no longer allow the past to rule my life and take possession of my thoughts, feelings, reactions and dictate the way I live each day. The burden of the past is heavy enough to weigh us down until we are bent over and unable to move, stuck in a place we do not wish to be in, but which we do not have the energy to move out of.

Only by dumping this terrible burden can we again feel light, joyful, fresh, young, energetic, enthusiastic, creative, loving, caring, compassionate, patient and tolerant, content, vibrant and full of peace and tranquility.

I am attaching (at the end of this post) some wonderful short statements, dealing with the power of forgiveness…and how our past effects each step we take in the present.

There are also many wonderful techniques which can help up to  forgive and then easily  release the past and move out of its shadow. I will do my best to describe the one which I find most effective. This is from both personal experience and the experiences of many of my clients who have moved on to wonderful new places in their lives after combining the technique with other subtle forms of energy work such as Reiki and Bach Flower Remedies-but it is a technique which can work entirely on its own if taken seriously and done properly and with intent.

Forgiveness Exercise:

  1. Using a full size notebook or pad (A4, letter size), take a page and fold it in half lengthwise.
  2. Number each line from 1 to 70.
  3. Choose a person you wish to begin forgiving. This can be as simple as a teacher in the first grade who made you stand in the corner or as deep as an abusive parent. It can be yourself (but this is better left until later on in the forgiveness work) or even God! You may want to begin with something small and move on to the heavier duty things once you get the hang of the exercise, but there is no reason why you cannot “jump right into deep water” if you so choose.
  4. On the left hand side of the page (remember, there is a fold line down the middle of the page), start on line one, and on each line up to 70 write: ” I (your name) completely and totally forgive (name of other person).”
  5. You will write this 70 times.
  6. While writing this short but powerful sentence, thoughts will begin to come up into your head “Why the hell am I doing this?” “This is silly” “There is NO way I will forgive this person”, “Look at what he did to me when he….” Etc., etc. Every single thought, without censorship and without comment , judgment or contemplation, you simply write down on the RIGHT side of the fold. As they come, as they flow, just write and then immediately go back to writing the other sentence 70 times. DO NOT STOP TO READ OR THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE WRITING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FOLD LINE.
  7. Once you have written this 70 times, take the piece of paper and BURN IT.
  8. Do this for a full 7 days FOR EACH PERSON. And burn at the end of each day.
  9. At the beginning of a new week, choose someone new to work on.
  10. As the days go by, the thoughts that immerge from the depths of our subconscious will become less and less. There will probably be no more left by the end of the week regarding the person involved. If there ARE still many thoughts, do the same person for a second full week! But this RARELY happens.

Once the person is taken care of and the papers are burnt, you will feel an enormous lightness overtake you. It is quite remarkable. It really does work!

If something is unclear about the above, please feel free to comment below and I will explain further. I wish you all wonderful new days filled with the relief of “dropping” the weight of the past from your shoulders, and standing tall of joyfully embrace each new day.

…and as promised:  further food for thought regarding forgiveness.

  • “Healing requires taking action–it is not a passive event.’
  •  ‘What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.’
  • ‘We have converted our wounds into a type of relationship currency that we use in order to control situations and people.’
  • ‘Healing means getting over the pain, not marketing it.’
  • ‘Therapy is a boat to cross the river, we just have to remember to get off on the other side.’
  • ‘Master your responses to external events–don’t attempt to control them.’
  • ‘Forgiveness is like a rough diet with no payback — you won’t like it until it’s over.’
  • Just let go. Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.’
  • ‘Forgiveness doesn’t look attractive until we get to the other side.’
  • Present time energy is its own transformer. The more energy you have in present time, the more voltage you can move through you.
  • ‘Call back the energy you are wasting on events of the past.’
  • We are never being punished, only being taught. Everything is a teaching.
  • ‘It goes without saying that not every healing crisis will have a ‘fairy-tale ending,’ but every effort you make, regardless of how insignificant it may seem to you, will always bring you closer to a state of spiritual and physical health.’
  • What is wrong with us that we have to have yesterday’s grief with us today?
  • Forgiveness is a path to my inner laboratory.
  • Get bored with your past, it’s over! ‘
  • Release the need to know why things happen the way they do.’ ‘
  • Never look to another person to make you happy–happiness is an internal, personal attitude and responsibility.’
  • ‘Life is essentially a learning experience. Every situation, challenge and relationship contains some message worth learning or teaching to others.’
  • ‘Practice forgiveness of others.’
  • ‘Positive energy works more effectively than negative energy in each and every situation.’ ‘
  • Our emotions reside physically in our bodies and interact with our cells and tissues.’
  • ‘Nothing empowers our ability to heal as much as our love and forgiveness.’
  • ‘The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.’
  • ‘Spiritual teachings encourage us to grow past and through painful experiences, each of which is a spiritual lesson.’
  • ‘Illness can develop as a consequence of behavioral patterns and attitudes that we do not realize are biologically toxic until they have already become so.’ ‘
  • I am forgiving not for you, but for me. I am forgiving because I want my power back.’
  • ‘Get over it.’
  • ‘Feeling victimized only adds to your illness, and should it become a full state of mind, would qualify as an illness in itself.’
  • ‘We are addicted to the power of the wound.’
  • ‘Release victim consciousness and embrace forgiveness.’
  • We can achieve a genuine sense of peace about life only by releasing our need to know why things happen in terms of human reasoning and by embracing Divine reasoning.’
  • ‘We cannot seek to heal an illness without first looking into what behavioral patterns and attitudes need to be altered in our life.’
  • For every time zone that we are in, other than here, we drain our life energy.
  • Law of the gods: get bitter or better.
  • A forgiving heart is an honest heart.
  • Blame is a form of energetic cancer.
  • If anyone tries to complicate your life – turn and walk away from them
  • If it’s not about you, it’s not about you
  • You can’t understand what you can’t understand
  • Don’t make simplicity hard
  • Your task is to learn the lesson that the teacher has for you rather than to resent the teacher
  • Seen symbolically, our life crises tell us that we need to break free of beliefs that no longer serve our personal development
  • Our lives change externally as we change internally
  • View every experience as a blessing and a remedy that serves your well-being.
  • Illness can be a teacher, companion, or challenge-but not a punishment.
  • Healing requires that you admit the truth about yourself.
  • Embrace the changes in your life.
  • Bless your difficulties and ask to see their hidden guidance.
  • Be mindful of how often you judge others.
  • Become mindful of your reasons to stay angry
  • To be unable to forgive is to live in hell, burdened, miserable, angry
  • Get in present time and forgive the people who have hurt you
  • We are not meant to stay wounded
  • To blame the other players in our drama for helping to teach us what we need to learn is the height of foolishness
  • Understand that all experiences either make you bitter or better
  • Practice the art of transformation
  • Become mindful that remaining in a conflict is a choice
  • Learn that the way to set change in motion is to bless and appreciate even the most difficult parts of our life
  • Recognize whether you love yourself enough to heal
  • Realize you choose to stay angry when you can choose to heal
  • Sometimes the strings to our past are burned because we need a new beginning

 
With much love, light, health, tranquility and JOY.
Jane

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The Light Always Awaits Us After the Storm

The Light Always Awaits Us After the Storm

When dealing with difficult situations, which very often involve dear friends or family members, we may often feel as if we have come up against a brick wall.  The other party refuses to talk to you, pays no attention to anything you try to say or explain, emits high levels of hostility, anger, disregard, derision or even contempt for what we feel is important.

The normal response in real time is to lash out with anger, frustration, jealousy or sarcasm.  And of course, none of this works.  It only helps to escalate an already explosive situation, and forces the other side to react in kind.

HH  Dalai Lama speaks about these issues when dealing not only with loved ones and friends, but even enemies.  His first piece of advice is of course to use compassion (which in this instance he interprets as using affection or love), but to combine it with reason and patience.

Well, this little piece of advice was something I put into action this past week…affection (love/compassion), reason and patience, in dealing with just another explosive situation involving those close to me.  To my great surprise, the results were amazingly simple and beautiful to behold.  The “situation” ended quietly, peacefully and lovingly, and “talking about it” was hardly necessary at all, since the “reason” part of the equation simply made so much sense, combined with the love and patience (for the other side to understand in their own way, at their own pace – which might take even a few days which is where the patience comes in).

Keeping those three things in mind next time you come up against something like this could make all the difference.  And if need be,take the time to “put your head together” before confronting the other person. And if, after all this, things still don’t seem to work out, don’t take it personally.  You have done everything you could have to rectify a bad situation, in the best possible way. It is now out of your hands and no longer your problem or concern.  The other side may “come around” or may not – but you no longer have control over that…it is now THEIR choice.  Accept it and be grateful for any outcome.

Along with other changes I have made recently to bring balance back into my life, (which I will write about further in my next post), this has been an extremely positive new, conscious and focused  choice for change I have made, and I thank HH Dalai Lama for bringing these insights to me (and the Universe for bringing me to the new book I recently read called: “My Spiritual Journey” by His Holiness).

As always, I am blessed and taken care of at all times.  And I do my best to appreciate all these blessings with joy and gratitude.

with love light and JOY

Jane

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Back to Reality and Dealing with Negative Feelings

Dreary Winter Morning

Anger, frustration, fear, worry – they do come – we are only human.  The question is what to do with these feelings when they arise.  This is a question I was confronted with once again recently.  It has been some time since this kind of swamped feeling has found its way into my life, and the truth is, until just last week, I didn’t realize it was actually happening!  The last 6 months have been filled with enormous changes in my life, and I had completely lost my balance, which is so important in my life.  But it wasn’t until my body began to rebel in many different ways, including serious knee problems (anger, fear) and a crashing immune system leading to repeated illnesses, that I began to suspect something might be seriously wrong.  Duh!!

And it wasn’t until I went for acupuncture treatment for my knees and the practitioner innocently asked me “where is all this stress coming from in your life?”, that I even began to THINK about stress.  I know from the past, that unlike many people who get migraines, or ulcers or HBP, when I am under extreme stress, my immune system just crashes.  Hasn’t happened though in about 15 years!  At first I denied it since “I no longer allow myself to get stressed by life” .But when I thought about it honestly I realized what was happening, and began to make new choices about my life situation and how I wanted to experience it.  Things have already begun getting back into order.  But as usual, I needed a good “hit over the head” to realize I had been making poor choices for several months.

I found myself in an extremely difficult place  – with feelings that I hadn’t experienced for a long time – and was at a loss about what to do regarding my reaction to the situation. Remember, we are always responsible for the way we feel and so these feelings of anger, frustration, fear and worry were not what was upsetting me, but the fact that I allowed myself to react in a way which allowed these feelings to arise in the first place.

So …what to do?

Well, it took me awhile, but I realized that first of all, the feelings must be validated, allowed to exist, and not buried.  Allow them their own freedom to “be” – find out where they are coming from and then move past them back to the balanced place.  And then make the positive choice to no longer give in to these negative thoughts and feelings, but to replace them with positive thoughts as each new situation comes up, and make the choice to experience all with complete acceptance, joy, gratitude and freedom from fear. If doing this involves a day or two of sleeping a lot, or playing computer games, of saying no to requests to baby sit, to not even feeling like cooking,  don’t beat myself up about it.  Allow myself the luxury of succumbing once in a while.  The downs only make the highs easier to relish, appreciate and be grateful for!

The relapses into bad times have a place in our lives and as such, are just as much a blessing as the so-called “good” stuff.  In the end, EVERYTHING is good, and for our own Higher Good.

And, once again,  I give thanks to God and the loving Universe for my many blessings, even when it takes me awhile to become aware of them.

with Love Light and Joy

Jane

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