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Archive for May, 2013


When the Shoe Doesn’t Fit

imagesHave you ever fallen in love with a shoe you saw in a store window only to find that when you tried it on it didn’t fit?  Was so uncomfortable that it was painful to slide your foot into it.  But because you loved it so much, you bought it anyway, figuring you could “break it in” over time? That if you wore it long enough it would come to suit your foot?
My ex understood long before I did that if the shoe doesn’t fit, no matter how much you love it and want to enjoy wearing it, it will never be possible and will only bring discomfort, pain and misery each time you try to wear it again.  No matter how or what you try to do to make it more comfortable, to fit better, it doesn’t work.  You can put it back in the closet and leave it there for awhile, wear different sox with it, put Band-Aids on to cushion the sore spots, have it stretched, try walking differently, wear them only when you don’t have to stand on them, no matter how hard you try, those shoes are never going to fit.

What you need is to try a similar shoe from the same company,or a different size or width or style, and perhaps you will find something which suits you.
My ex knew I did not suit him and no matter how much he loved me, and he most certainly did, in the most beautiful and complete way  possible, that he could not stay in a relationship with me and continue to live a harmonic, tranquil and healthy life. No matter how much he wanted me in his life, by continuing to wear a shoe that did not fit would only bring pain and misery.
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I thought he didn’t love me enough and was giving up too easily.  I believed, that even though I knew for sure he did not suit me, did not fit, that BECAUSE I loved him so much, if I worked hard enough at it and didn’t give up, eventually we could be in a relationship. I thought I was being the better one in the relationship…because I was not giving up easily and fighting for what I was sure was a once in a lifetime, never to be found again blessing.    It took me a long time and a lot of bandaid wearing to realize how right he was…and that he didn’t give up because he didn’t love me enough, but because he realized the futility of trying to wear a shoe that doesn’t fit.
There will always be another beautiful shoe waiting  and this time you will know that it must fit from the beginning or you will never be able to break it in. I had to come to this realization before I could truly move beyond the pain and heartbreak. I am not sorry for all the months I tried as they were part of an important learning process for me, as well as a necessary cleansing period for me. And another important lesson for me in life has now been successfully learned and I am grateful for finally being able to understand it.
What we’ve done since then, to my great joy and surprise, is find a suitable model of the shoe which works for us.  We’ve gone back to a basic open sandal, with nothing painful confining the foot.  Pretty much just the soul  (sole) of the shoe and a light strap to keep it in place.
We’ve gone back to being partners for folkdancing, with none of the confines and complications of an unsuitable and impossible relationship to take away from the sheer joy and pleasure of dancing together…and THIS shoe fits us perfectly.

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I will wait patiently and with an open heart for the shoe that truly fits to find its way to me.  I believe that the romantic stirrings of my heart, which my ex truly awakened in me for the first time in my life, without fear and in complete acceptance and joy (one of the greatest gifts he has given me) will now find their way out to the Universe and great love will be delivered to me at the time,and in the way,which is most suitable and “fitting”.  And that I will be open to embrace it in complete Freedom from Fear.
Life is good
with love light and JOY
Jane

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Just in case the idea appeals to you, I’ve reposted this entry here as well! 🙂

Jane's Mindfulness Journal

Reiki in the Digital Age – A Virtual Reiki Box!

It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted on this blog…most of my current posts finding their way to my Not in India Blog at Not In India or of course my India Journals when I find myself in India at: My India Journals

But something has come along which suits this blog perfectly.

I haven’t written anything new about my Reiki adventures for some time as well, but here is the perfect place to present this lovely new idea to you.

If you have been working with Reiki for any length of time, you are most probably familiar with the concept of a Reiki Box for long distance healing work, when requests from several or even many people are involved.  I have always had a special container into which I place all requests for long distance healing and then…

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kinneret sunsetActually testing out this app on my new tablet to see how it works.  And just figured I’d share one of my recent shots taken at the Sea of Galilee

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